My altar ego!
I walked into that church as a totally different woman
Watching my son Mayson, then 4, tear around the living room, I felt exhausted. ‘Mummy, play cops and robbers with me,’ he begged.
But just pulling myself up from the sofa was an effort.
‘Not now, sweetie,’ I said, making excuses.
Seeing his face drop made me feel overcome with guilt.
But I just didn’t have the energy to play.
You see, at a whopping 19st 8lb, I was huge.
I’d always battled with my weight. And after having Mayson, I’d piled on even more.
I squeezed my bust and bum into size-24 clothes.
I was so self-conscious – and, over the years, I’d suffered anxiety and depression.
I just didn’t want to leave the house – terrified what people would think of me.
My partner Allen, 29, loved me, no matter what. Slim, he could eat whatever he liked and not put on a pound. Unlike me.
‘I only have to look at a biscuit and I gain weight,’ I would joke.
Miserable, I felt terrible I was missing out on things with Mayson, though.
When Allen took him swimming, I stayed home.
‘There’s no way I’m letting everyone see my wobbly bits in a swimsuit,’ I cringed. Food became a comfort. I’d scoff greasy chips, fish-finger sandwiches or a fast-food meal.
In November 2014, I had another son, Jacob.
By then, I was stuck in a rut, still eating fatty, greasy takeaways.
Then a few months on, a friend tagged me in a pic on Facebook.
It was of me at a bowling alley for my niece’s 6th birthday party.
‘I’m massive!’ I gasped in horror. ‘I look disgusting.’
My bulging belly and arms made me cringe with shame. I knew I had to change. Only, I didn’t know where to start. And before I knew it, months were ticking by and I was still eating the same rubbish.
Then, that December, I was sitting on the sofa when Allen dropped to one knee in front of me.
‘Marry me?’ he asked, holding out a diamond ring. I was blown away. ‘Of course!’ I beamed. We decided on a date – 18 June 2017.
But there was something bothering me – something
really big. Me! ‘I can’t be a fat bride,’ I said. The thought of waddling down the aisle, my lumps and bumps spilling out of a dress, mortified me. And knowing all eyes would be on me made me feel physically sick. In that moment, I knew I had to do something about it, once and for all. ‘I’ve got to lose weight,’ I told Allen. By now, my anxiety was at its peak. I rarely left the house any more. Finding the courage to go to a weight-loss group was going to be tough. But finally, in May 2015, Allen convinced me to go to a Slimming World meeting. I was shaking like a leaf, so he came with me for support, along with my good friend Julia. And back at home, Allen helped me cook Slimming World meals. Spag bol, healthy chicken burgers… Ditching the fatty takeaways, I stuck to the meal plan. Just a week on, I’d
The thought of waddling down the aisle mortified me
Old me...
managed d t to shed h d 6lb 6lb.
And by July, I’d lost a whopping 2st.
As time went on, the weight just continued to fall off.
By September 2016, I’d lost 10st, and weighed a trim 9st 8lb. I felt incredible. So much so, I finally felt ready to go shopping for a wedding dress.
Trying on elegant size-10 gowns, I had tears in my eyes.
‘I was convinced I’d be a fat bride,’ I cried. ‘But just look at me now!’
Eventually, I found the one – a gorgeous ivory, strapless number.
And when I slipped it on in June 2017, I felt every inch the beautiful bride.
When Allen turned and saw
Beautiful bride!
me at the altar, he welled up. ‘You look stunning, love,’ he said. Friends and family who hadn’t seen me in a while were stunned. ‘I can’t believe it’s you,’ my cousin laughed. It was like I’d gained bucket loads of confidence overnight. And far from hating being the centre of attention, I Il lapped d it up.
Since then, I’ve kept the weight off and feel fantastic.
I’ve got so much more energy now, too. I don’t shy away from taking the boys swimming.
I love chasing them around the park and playing with them at home.
The boys have got their mummy back.
And to me, that’s the icing on the cake.