Why I’ve walked up the aisle 24 times!
But I don’t care if I’m never the bride!
Gliding down the aisle, clutching a bouquet, I giggled with excitement.
It was 1984, I was 10, and a bridesmaid at my Aunt Inday’s wedding in the Philippines.
Wearing a beautiful white and fuchsia gown, I beamed as the congregation looked on. Any nerves I’d felt soon disappeared.
Watching my aunt get married was magical.
She looks like a princess,
I thought.
So, three years later, in 1987, I was thrilled to be a bridesmaid again. Twice in one year, too! This time for older cousins tying the knot. It was fun. Playing dress-up, wearing flowers in our hair, being the centre of attention, posing for photos with the bride and groom.
Then in 1990, aged 16, I got to do it all again, this time for my Aunt Doris.
She picked out a stunning white, knee-length frock with turquoise detailing. My favourite dress! We had a big family, and in Filipino culture everyone got involved in weddings.
I always had cousins for company. Bridesmaids-in-arms! And I lapped up the attention, feeling pretty, involved in the action.
Before I knew it, I was racking up appearances at more family weddings.
For my uncle and aunt, cousin and his wife, even an ex-boyfriend’s parents!
Thankfully, the run of family weddings drew to a close in 1997.
By then, I had seven appearances under my belt.
I was 22, and actually starting to get fed up of traipsing down the aisle.
I’d loved every moment before, but now I felt awkward, wanted to wear my own dresses. Only, it wasn’t over yet… Friends started settling down, going from long-term relationships...to engagement...to wedding planning.
The bridesmaid requests kept rolling in.
Must be all the experience I have,
I thought.
So, in 1998, I made my debut as a mate’s bridesmaid, at my school friend Bambi’s big day.
Over the next 10 years, I was a bridesmaid a whopping nine times. Asked by friends from childhood, college, law school, high school...
I wore all sorts of dresses in every style and colour you can think of. From a red, strapless number to a long, turquoise gown, I built up quite a collection of frocks – sadly never to be worn again. They weren’t all terrible. But some weren’t my usual style, or what I’d have picked myself.
I never objected – it would’ve been considered rude to say no.
Then, in 2011, as a 19-time bridesmaid, I decided I was done.
No more!
I thought. It’d been fun, and always felt special being asked. But it wasn’t all about posing for photos and drinking champagne. It could be stressful and exhausting, too. I’d dealt with my fair share of tricky wedding-day emergencies over the years! Once I had to get to a remote venue by ferry – and rowing boat – carrying a box of dresses weighing 30kg over my head! Another time, there was a tropical storm on an island in the Philippines, which destroyed all the decorations. We spent the
I’ve worn every style and colour of dress you can think of!
morning of the wedding – hair and make-up done, dresses hitched up – redecorating, rearranging flowers, lining up chairs.
Hard work, though we pulled it off.
Still, I was tired of always being the bridesmaid.
Only, the following year, an old friend from law school, Meg, called me.
‘I’m getting married! I’d love it if you were my bridesmaid! Please! Õ she begged.
She was so excited, I just couldn’t say no.
I was happy for her, too, and wanted to be part of her day. ‘Of course,’ I smiled. Just like that, I was back, about to cross off my 20th appearance as a bridesmaid!
And the following year, I was asked by a family friend, Candice...
How could I let her down?
It continued, as two more cousins tied the knot in 2014, requesting I yet again join the bridal party.
My plans for ‘retirement’ had been scuppered. I always enjoyed myself. But was getting sick of squeezing myself into dresses that didn’t suit me. Plus, at 40, my body wasn’t the same any more.
Still, I’m now set to carry out bridesmaid duties for the 24th time this August, for Ivy, my old uni roommate. I’ve never met anyone who’s been a bridesmaid as many times as I have. People laugh when I tell them about it. And of course, ask when it’s going to be my turn. ‘Always the bridesmaid,’ they’ll say. I used to think about it myself – wonder when I’d be the one wearing the big white dress. But I don’t any more. To be honest, I’m not really bothered if I’m never the bride. I have a busy, fun life and I’m happy. I’m hoping this will be my final bridesmaid outing, though. Let’s hope 24 times is the charm!