Don’t hate me but... I have a favourite child

And I reckon, if you’re to­tally hon­est, you do too...

Chat - - Telly Week -

Alisha March, 32, Ch­ester­field

Sit­ting on the sofa with my arms wrapped around my lit­tle girl Kennedie, 2, I tried to ig­nore my two older daugh­ters, Ad­di­son, 9, and Har­leigh, 7.

Sprawled out on the floor, the girls were row­ing over the re­mote con­trol.

‘Just be quiet,’ I sighed in frus­tra­tion.

‘Mum!’ screamed Har­leigh. ‘She’s hog­ging the TV again.’

‘Shut up!’ cried Ad­di­son, her face red with rage.

I rolled my eyes as I kissed Kennedie on the head.

She’s al­ways so quiet and sweet – my lit­tle shadow.

She’ll fol­low me ev­ery­where, loves to cud­dle.

But with Ad­di­son and Har­leigh, it’s dif­fer­ent.

Not even teens yet, they’re both fu­ri­ously in­de­pen­dent, talk back if they don’t get their way, and the last thing they want is a kiss or cud­dle from Mum.

And right now I had a pound­ing headache…

My son Eli­jah, 1, was al­ready in bed.

It was 8pm and I couldn’t wait for the older girls to go up as well.

As their an­gry wails grew louder, I lost my tem­per.

‘Get up to bed, you two! Now!’ I shouted.

‘What about Kennedie?’ Ad­di­son sulked. ‘She can stay up be­cause she’s your favourite!’

‘Yeah, you love her more than you love us,’ frowned Har­leigh. ‘That’s not true,’ I groaned, hear­ing the fa­mil­iar com­plaint.

‘I love you all the same, but

My older two re­sent my bond with Kennedie

Kennedie is be­ing a good girl, you’re be­ing noisy and rude.’

Even­tu­ally, the two girls skulked up to bed.

I knew they just wanted their own way, but if I was be­ing com­pletely hon­est, they did have a point.

I love all my chil­dren with all my heart, but I do have a very spe­cial bond with Kennedie.

It prob­a­bly all stemmed back to when I first be­came a mum aged 22. It was tough. My hus­band Julius, then 37, was great, but I was young and in­ex­pe­ri­enced.

The el­dest two girls cried a lot as ba­bies, didn’t breast­feed.

When they were both 4 months old, I had to go back to my ad­min job, so they went to nurs­ery.

But when Kennedie was born in Oc­to­ber 2015, it was to­tally dif­fer­ent.

I was older and more ex­pe­ri­enced. For the first time, I en­joyed be­ing a mum.

She man­aged to breast­feed, slept through the night from just 3 months.

From the start, Kennedie was my lit­tle princess.

Sweet, cud­dly, lov­ing and af­fec­tion­ate – ev­ery­thing my older girls are not.

All my kids get the same amount of money spent on them, but the fact I didn’t have to go back to work af­ter Kennedie was born meant that she al­ways had more time with me.

We love go­ing swim­ming, read­ing books to­gether in the li­brary.

Eli­jah’s a lovely lit­tle boy, but he hasn’t re­ally de­vel­oped his own per­son­al­ity yet.

As long as his needs are met, he’s happy, and Julius, now 47, will do boys’ stuff with him when he’s older.

Don’t get me wrong, my older two are amaz­ing girls. Ad­di­son is sporty and de­ter­mined while Har­leigh is a tal­ented gym­nast. But they’re both so strong-willed, al­ways want­ing their own way. It’s a con­stant bat­tle to get them to do as they’re told. It all boils down to the fact that we all have favourite peo­ple in life. We get on bet­ter with cer­tain peo­ple at work, we choose our friends and our part­ner. I be­lieve it’s no dif­fer­ent with chil­dren. I know Ad­di­son and Har­leigh re­sent my bond with Kennedie. They use it against me when they don’t get their own way. ‘I do love you all the same,’ I re­as­sure them. It’s just that my bond with Kennedie is much stronger. When I tell peo­ple the way I feel, they’re hor­ri­fied. ‘How can you have a favourite child?’ friends cry. ‘It’s abu­sive,’ some say. ‘You’re caus­ing them emo­tional dam­age.’ ‘Non­sense!’ I re­ply. ‘My kids are fine.’ Julius some­times moans that Kennedie and I are too close. ‘You’re joined at the hip!’ he’ll com­plain. But the two older ones have him wrapped around their lit­tle fin­gers – they’re def­i­nitely Daddy’s girls. The truth is, most mums and dads have favourites. I’m just brave enough to ad­mit it. I think it’s im­por­tant to speak out, so other mums won’t feel so bad about the way they feel. We’re all so judg­men­tal of each other these days, es­pe­cially as par­ents. But feel­ings are feel­ings. You shouldn’t have to hide them.

A spe­cial re­la­tion­ship from the start

I love them all with all my heart

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