Keeping up with Kim
I was terrified people would point and whisper
In June 2015, during an RE class, I hid my phone under the desk and drafted a message to Mum.
Line after line, I poured out everything I couldn’t say in person.
Coming out as gay was just the beginning. I want to be a girl, I typed. Clicking send, I felt my stomach flutter. The secret’s out. Minutes later, my screen flashed with a message.
I’ve always known, I was just waiting for you to tell me, Mum X
I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
‘Whatever you need to do, I’ll be here for you,’ she promised.
And that summer, I went out dressed as my true self for the first time. I nervously stepped out of my front door with fair hair extensions and skinny jeans. I was terrified people would point and whisper. You don’t often see people like me on the streets of Middlesbrough! But no-one batted an eyelid! It was the happiest summer of my life. Before I returned to school for year 11, in July 2016, I changed my name on Facebook to Kairah. The name had been in my mind for years, just waiting to get out. In a Facebook post, I announced my true self. I always felt that inside I was really a woman, I said. I got a lot of positive comments and messages of support. Still, it took everything I had to turn up on the first day of school with hair extensions and in skinny jeans and pretty pumps. But my classmates welcomed me with open arms. ‘You’re a dead ringer for Kim Kardashian!’ one said. The ultimate compliment. She was the most feminine woman I’d ever seen!
Curvaceous and beautiful, everything I longed to be.
Inspired, I channelled her look.
I recreated her flowing locks, switching from blonde to brunette, just like Kim.
After saving money and thanks to donations from family, in November 2016, I had £3,840 worth of lip fillers. I was given my first glimpse of my new pout in a handheld mirror. Perfect!
At the end of 2016, I started taking hormone blockers to stop my voice getting deeper, and to distribute my fat in a more feminine way.
In July 2017, after I’d left school, I started taking oestrogen, which helped me build breast tissue.
With the help of a special waist trainer cinched tightly around me, I finally got the hourglass figure I’d always longed for.
My waist shrank from 28in to 22in.
But keeping up with the Kardashians doesn’t come cheap. I’ve splashed out £800 on hair extensions, £3,840 on lip fillers, £4,800 on make-up, and £5,250 on seven pairs of designer Christian Louboutin shoes.
And that’s not counting all my gorgeous new clothes!
My new look has probably cost me around £15,000, if not more, but it’s worth every single penny.
I feel so much more confident now.
I currently don’t have any plans for gender-reassignment surgery, but never say never.
I’m just making the most of every day, finally feeling and looking like the woman I always wanted to be.