My reason for living

Just then, Naomi stirred underneath her pale-pink blanket. What am I doing?! I thought, face burning with shame. When Billy came home, saw me, pills in hand, his eyes widened.

‘I’m sorry,’ I wept. ‘I felt as if there was no other option.’

‘You can’t leave us,’ he gasped. ‘We need you.’

I cried in Billy’s arms for what seemed like an eternity.

Afterwards, I drifted into a deep sleep.

Next morning, it was as if I’d been struck by lightning.

I headed down to the kitchen, grabbed all the junk food and stuffed it into a bin bag.

‘What’s going on?’ Billy asked.

‘I’m not doing this any more,’ I said. ‘It’s all got to go.’

For the first time in months, I cooked a healthy meal from scratch that night. Chopped tomatoes, stirred in lean mince meat.

Afterwards, I heaved myself around the block.

Head down, I cringed when a couple walked past me. Please don’t say anything nasty, I thought. ‘Evening!’ the man nodded. I smiled back. Next day, I did the same. Another healthy meal, an even longer walk. Day after day, week after week, I stuck rigidly to my routine, shedding four stone in six months. Then, I started doing dance fitness DVDS in the lounge every morning. Naomi joined in, wiggling her hips and waving her arms to the music, too. ‘Like Mummy!’ she giggled. By May 2017, I’d lost 14 stone, wore a size-16. Now, I took Naomi swimming, ran around after her in the park. I had so much energy. Only… ‘What’s all that?’ Naomi said, pointing to the flabby rolls of skin hanging down limply around my stomach and arms. It was June 2018 – and though I was down to 11st and wore a svelte size-10, I needed shape-wear under my baggy clothes. It was getting me down – but Billy had an idea... ‘Let’s see a plastic surgeon,’ he suggested. ‘We can’t afford it,’ I said. But Billy insisted. After a consultation at a private clinic in Blackpool, we took out a £10,000 loan.

And in August 2018, I had surgery to remove the excess skin from my arms and waist.

The following weeks, I was bandaged up, in pain.

And when my bandages were removed, Naomi burst into tears.

‘Where’s Mummy’s funny skin gone?’ she sobbed.

Lifting her up, I gave her a big squeeze.

‘Shall we go to the park?’ I smiled. ‘I’ll give you a push on the swings?’ Her little face lit up. She soon forgot about the old me, and so did I. Now, I feel amazing. I hope my story will inspire others in my position to see how far you can come.

It doesn’t take a miracle to lose weight, you just have to be prepared to work hard.

No matter how desperate you feel, please know there’s always a way forward.