Changed in a flash
The photos we took of our little boy ended up saving his life…
I tried not to think the
worst as I called the doctor
The flash shimmered around the room as the camera clicked away.
Snapping every angle of my gorgeous boy, I captured his smile, big blue eyes and blond hair.
My son Jaxson shrieked with delight.
‘He’s too scrummy!’ Jaxson’s dad Owen, 22, cooed, lifting him into the air.
Jaxson was born in January 2016 – and despite being six weeks premature and needing a few days of extra care, he was healthy. Perfect, even.
Now, 11 months later, we were the happiest family trio.
Excited for Jaxson’s first birthday.
Owen handed me Jaxson and took the camera, flicking through our family snaps. Suddenly, Owen frowned. ‘That’s strange,’ he said, showing me a picture we’d taken earlier that day. ‘What?’ I asked.
I could only see my beautiful boy and his winning smile.
‘Look closely,’ Owen urged. I squinted at the photo, but shook my head.
‘Jaxson’s left pupil has the usual red glow, but the other one’s completely white,’ Owen explained.
Looking again, I realised he was right.
‘I’m sure it’s nothing,’ I said. But Owen already had his phone out, researching what it might mean.
‘It could be due to a retinoblastoma,’ he read.
A rare form of cancer developing from cells in the retina of the eye.
Just 50 patients are diagnosed each year.
Surely not our Jaxson…
Then we discovered that another symptom of retinoblastoma is a lazy eye.
We’d recently started to notice Jaxson had a squint.
I tried not to think the worst as I called to make a doctor’s appointment.
The next day, carrying Jaxson into the doc’s, I couldn’t see how my happy, energetic boy could possibly be poorly.
Performing a test on his eye, she confirmed there was a glow in the right pupil.
‘I’ve never seen this before,’ she said.
Not a good sign.
Referred to an eye clinic at hospital, we had an agonising wait.
First, a consultant said Jaxson had slight astigmatism.
Nothing to worry about.
But Owen and I wanted a second opinion.
Two days later, we sat opposite an ophthalmologist as he looked into Jaxson’s eyes. He called in a senior clinician. I squeezed Jaxson tight as I saw the concerned looks on the practitioners’ faces. ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked. ‘Jaxson may have a retinoblastoma,’ the specialist said gently.
He started to explain what it was, but it wasn’t necessary.
We already knew. Jaxson could have cancer.
He’d need a biopsy at The Royal London Hospital before they could say for definite.
But on 21 December 2016, weeks before his first birthday, Jaxson was formally diagnosed with a retinoblastoma.
A large tumour in his eye.
‘We have two options,’ the consultant told us.
Jaxson could have his eye removed surgically.
No, please, no...
Or there was chemotherapy. Unbearable.
The doctors gave us a moment in private.
As soon as the door closed, I collapsed into Owen’s arms in tears.
‘I can’t stand the thought of him losing his eye,’ I sobbed. Owen nodded, devastated. We chose chemotherapy. The next few days passed in a blur as the specialists explained the path of treatment.
We tried to celebrate Christmas, but it was hard knowing what Jaxson would soon be facing. On Boxing Day, the phone rang.
We had to take Jaxson to Southampton General Hospital to have a Hickman line inserted – a tube for the drugs to be administered. Chemotherapy would start a few days later. Wrapping him up in
a new jumper, I carried my baby boy into the ward.
‘I love you,’ I said, gently kissing his head.
He was given an anaesthetic and soon slipped into a deep sleep.
Looking at Jaxson as he came round hours later, I held back tears.
The line in his chest looked so painful.
But it would be his life-saver.
Through the line, he’d receive pain relief, blood transfusions and the chemotherapy drugs.
As the days passed into weeks, we barely saw the outside of the hospital. Jaxson suffered with spikes in his temperature, blockages in the line. But through it all, he laughed and played all around the ward.
Such a brave little soldier!
In April 2017, we were told the treatment had worked – the tumour was
So brave, he laughed and played all around the ward
now much smaller. I watched in awe as they removed the Hickman line from my boy. For the next six months, we were the happy family of three that we’d been before the diagnosis. But our heartache wasn’t over yet. A checkup showed Jaxson’s tumour had started to grow again. ‘We’ll need to give him laser surgery,’ the consultant said. Jaxson endured six sessions of the 30-minute laser treatment.
But it wasn’t working as well as doctors had hoped. He was transferred to Great Ormond Street Hospital for three rounds of intraarterial chemotherapy.
It’s an innovative new treatment where drugs are injected directly into arteries close to the cancer.
‘Only the best for you, baby,’ I told Jaxson.
And in April 2018, we heard the news we’d been longing for.
Jaxson’s tumour was stable.
He’d been through more in his young life than most people do in a lifetime.
Now aged 3, he needs regular scans to monitor him.
But Jaxson’s thriving at preschool, hitting all his milestones.
Amazing considering how much time he’s spent in hospital.
Me and Owen are so proud. It’s incredible that a simple photograph uncovered our son’s cancer.
I always knew I’d treasure those early pictures of our boy, but I’d no idea just how vital they’d be.