Born to be brothers

Chat - - TWO OF A KIND -

I be­gan to re­sem­ble the per­son I’d al­ways been in­side

Watch­ing as Kasey told our mum and dad Rick, 65, the truth, I saw him in­stantly re­lax. This heavy weight and bur­den lifted off his shoul­ders.

He ex­plained how, af­ter watch­ing doc­u­men­taries about trans­gen­der peo­ple, he’d had this re­al­i­sa­tion.

Th­ese other peo­ple were telling his story.

And now, fi­nally say­ing it out loud, he felt re­lieved.

He started liv­ing as a male, keep­ing the name Kasey.

I was happy for him, truly. But I strug­gled.

In June 2016, Kasey started hor­mone ther­apy, and slowly be­gan to tran­si­tion phys­i­cally.

Then, in Au­gust, he had surgery to re­move his breasts.

From then on, the change was ab­so­lutely amaz­ing.

Sud­denly, my twin Kasey looked like a man.

He’d wan­der around our bed­room top­less, and I was in­stantly en­vi­ous of him.

‘You OK?’ he’d ask. ‘Fine,’ I’d lie. I was any­thing but, and it didn’t seem fair Kasey felt so much hap­pier than me.

I still felt like an alien in my own body and was in­sanely jeal­ous.

It was also strange, my iden­ti­cal twin sud­denly looked and sounded so very dif­fer­ent. But watch­ing Kasey’s jour­ney helped me come to terms with my own feel­ings.

Maybe I was meant to be a man, too, I thought.

And, al­most a year af­ter Kasey’s big rev­e­la­tion, it dawned on me

– I’d been born in the wrong body as well.

So, in July 2017, I con­fided in Kasey.

‘I think I’m meant to be a boy, too,’ I said.

He smiled.

I think on some level, he’d al­ways known, but hadn’t wanted to rush me.

‘I’ll help you as much as I can,’ he said.

We faced Mum and Dad to­gether, and though break­ing the news felt eas­ier the sec­ond time around, it didn’t make it any less dev­as­tat­ing. If any­thing, I felt some­what guilty.

We had two other brothers. I was our par­ents’ last daugh­ter.

Their last chance for a father-daugh­ter dance, for a wed­ding-dress fit­ting and a baby bump. I ripped that away from them. So I knew it would take time for them to ad­just. Still, I be­gan tak­ing hor­mones in Septem­ber 2017. I started go­ing by my mid­dle name Shea, and had my breasts re­moved in March 2018.

One day soon, I’ll feel com­plete, I thought. Hoped. Kasey was a mas­sive help. ‘You’re not play­ing catch-up to me. You’re on your own path,’ he’d tell me.

And it was a good re­minder to have.

I was des­per­ate for re­sults, but knew they wouldn’t be im­me­di­ate.

When my voice fi­nally started to get deeper last Septem­ber, and hair be­gan to sprout on my chin, it felt like a huge win.

Slowly, the re­flec­tion

I saw in the mir­ror be­gan to re­sem­ble the per­son I’d al­ways been on the in­side.

The best thing was, Kasey and I even started to look iden­ti­cal again. Amaz­ing! Though we haven’t fin­ished our jour­neys yet, we’re in such a good place.

Our fam­ily are so ac­cept­ing, and it has re­ally helped to bring us all closer. Es­pe­cially Kasey and me. We’ve been sis­ters, brother and sis­ter – and now we’re brothers.

But, through it all, we’ve al­ways been a team.

And, af­ter every­thing we’ve been through, that bond is even stronger.

A team – that’s me and Kasey (right) We even look iden­ti­cal again!

He sup­ported me through surgery

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