This issue, in our weekly showcase from our sister site Truly, Tori and Syven tell us about their amazing path to parenthood Hubby had our babies
Juggling the demands of two kids under the age of 2 can be tricky. But mum Tori and dad Syven know that teamwork and routine keep everyone fed and happy.
While Tori gives their 1-month-old daughter Wynter her morning bottle, Syven spoonfeeds Prophet,
1, his pureed baby food.
There is just one thing that makes them different from most other families around the breakfast table.
‘My husband gave birth to our children,’ says Tori.
Syven was assigned female at birth and started his transition at a young age.
‘My transition journey was easy because I knew,’ Syven says. ‘I knew what I was when I was very young, about 5 or 6.
‘But it’s hard because of the stuff that you have to deal with when you’re going through your transition. You have people that judge. Friends that leave you. Family that shuns you.’ When he met Tori, he found someone who could understand, as she is also transgender, assigned male as birth.
‘My transition journey was good and I loved it,’ says Tori.
‘But it was also rocky. I was still in school – when I was at home I was comfortable, but at school it was overwhelming.’
After falling in love and getting married, Tori and Syven wanted to start a family, like other couples.
But it wasn’t straightforward for them – and not only because husband Syven, who has a womb, would be the one to carry the baby.
‘I didn’t think it was possible to conceive naturally because I took testosterone for so long and it took ages,’ he says.
‘I honestly thought “it ain’t going to happen”. But then he finally found out he was expecting baby Prophet.
‘I was happy,
emotional but happy,’ he says.
‘My pregnancy experiences were perfect, but I didn’t like being judged – the positive response was “congratulations, you’re going to be a great parent” but the negatives were “why are you having kids?” “Men don’t have babies”.
‘Going to the doctor as a pregnant man, sitting around a whole bunch of females – they’re looking at you like “no it can’t be”.
‘So it gets bad and very uncomfortable because you don’t want to hide you’re pregnant. I’m not going to hide my kids.’
Syven had medical complications too.
‘Towards the end I had severe pre-eclampsia,’ Syven says.
Pre-eclampsia causes high blood pressure and can be life-threatening if not treated.
‘When I had Prophet, it was dramatic. I haemorrhaged bad.
I had him at 36 weeks.’
Just six months later, Syven was pregnant again.
‘I was sick with Wynter, I was hurting. I did have the pre-eclampsia, but it wasn’t as bad as Prophet.’
But the hard times are worth it now that the kids are here.
‘What I love most about being a dad is I can dress him [Prophet] like me and teach him things. Protect them, teach them.
‘We’re a close family. We have family time. We bond. We go through things – cry together, laugh together, argue with each other.
‘We’re very close.’
Tori has also faced some negativity.
She’s been told, ‘You will never be the mum. Your kids are going to grow up crazy.’
‘People would stare,’ she says.
‘They would smirk and giggle and point. But they do not say anything.
‘I think they should keep their opinions to themselves and mind their business.
‘Our kids are going to be successful, because we are.
‘It’s all about how you raise your kids, what you show them, how you teach them – and it all starts from home.
‘You are always going to get negative comments, some hate, and people judging you.
‘Don’t let that faze you, don’t take it to heart. ‘Keep doing you.
‘I would say to other trans people that consider having kids – go for it.’
It’s about how you raise kids, how you teach them