Always a dull moment!
I wanted a man who would bore my pants off…
Flicking through pics of lads posing, I rolled my eyes and shut my dating app. ‘Why can’t I just meet someone normal?’ I groaned. In September 2023, I was done with online dating.
I’d only met blokes who were more interested in social media or looking muscly in the gym than being a decent partner.
I just wanted someone to have a laugh with.
A mum-of-two, I didn’t care whether they had a buff body, flash job or designer clothes.
Someone genuine who’d put the bins out was good enough for me!
After ditching dating apps, once the kids were in bed, I’d scroll through Facebook.
Noticing a post from someone called James Warburton,
I chuckled.
He was talking about the colour of bins.
Here in Manchester we have four colours, black for refuse, blue for glass and cans, brown for garden and green for cardboard, he’d written in the post.
I read with interest as he elaborated on the bin types.
He’d posted on the Dull Men’s Club Facebook group.
I didn’t remember joining, but there were scores of posts on equally boring but strangely satisfying topics.
The best way to organise a sock drawer, how to store plastic bags.
You need to do it like this, James explained, detailing how to fold bags in neat little triangles for maximum space and convenience. ‘He’s a genius,’ I chuckled. James had also posted about the numbers on lamp posts, and helpfully suggested that people clip dog poo bags to their trousers. Sure, some people may have found it odd, and well… dull. Not me! So I sent James a friend request, and he messaged me. How do you know me? he asked. I felt awkward. I imagine you have an influx of women adding you after your posts…
I began. James, then 36, admitted he hadn’t had much attention from the ladies. Bins and dog poo bags aren’t considered sexy, believe it or not, he said.
These are the things that matter if you ask me, I replied. Were we flirting about poo and bins? After one heated chat about organising the cutlery drawer, he asked if I fancied meeting up.
I was in Leeds, not too far from Manchester.
Yes, I agreed.
I know the perfect place, he replied.
Locking eyes with him on our first date, at a service station on the M62, my legs went to jelly.
‘They say this is the worst service station in the UK,’ he said.
‘Seems OK to me,’ I smiled.
James was as goofy as I imagined, and made some of the worst jokes I’d heard.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe.
But he was handsome and endearing too.
We soon became a couple. Now, as well as having fun with the kids and going on walks with James’ dog Chester, we love celebrating the mundane things in life.
Mowing the lawn, a trip to the dump or supermarket.
We’ve even started a weekly podcast called Mr & Mrs Dull all about our boring relationship, and a dating site called dulldating.com.
I’ve never been happier!
James made some of the worst jokes I’d ever heard