A plea for the simple virtue of kindness

Ihave discovered that preaching is a dangerous business. You can have the best of intentions, but once the words are out there to some extent they’re hostage to whatever filters your listeners bring to them. Sometimes this is positive. Many speakers will have had the experience of a grateful listener thanking someone for what they have said, despite the fact the speaker has no recollection they said it!

Sadly, on other occasions, a listener brings a whole load of experiences, unknown to the speaker, that cause them

to make connections and read into what they have heard the opposite off what was intended.

We may have experienced this in relationship breakdown.

It is common for couples going through this to end up seeing everything the other person does as hostile, despite that not being what was meant.

The ability to empathise with others and really listen is crucial for public conversation.

If we always think the worst of others we become vulnerable to being sucked into the echo chambers of social media. This may seem a sensible strategy for self-protection, but it prevents us truly engaging with other’s point of view.

Listening – to understand, rather than to reply – may even change our own entrenched views.

At the risk of a bland “let’s all be nice to each other, and if we were all nice the world would be nicer.”

I would like to make a plea for the simple virtue of kindness.

All of us have our baggage, limited knowledge and experiences that make us vulnerable to oversensitivity.

When Christians talk about sin, it is not to point the finger at a particular group of people, it is to acknowledge our common frailty.

Christians believe that honesty before God about the state of our hearts helps us encounter acceptance not condemnation. The Church should model it.

It’s in this accepting atmosphere that deep change and growth becomes possible. I often think the Church is at its best when it’s more like a recovery group rather than a religious institution.

Forgive us if you have encountered the latter rather than the former.

We are sinners too.