Oddfellows highlight help available for people who have lost a partner
Losing a partner can knock people’s confidence and leave them feeling lonely.
The Oddfellows, a nonprofit friendly society which champions friendship and community, has launched a campaign to raise awareness of the effects of losing a partner, as members cited this as one of their main reasons for joining.
Joy Warren, 75, from Ferring was introduced to The Oddfellows by neighbours Michael and Janet Porter, after her husband of 50 years passed away.
Knowing the idea of meeting new people was a daunting prospect, Michael and Janet knocked on Joy’s door and invited her to join them at an Oddfellows friendship group.
Joy said: “I’ve never been the type to sit still, so despite the fact I was still grieving for Graham, I knew I had to get out and socialise again, but it was difficult to know where to start. That knock on the door was the encouragement I needed.
“They made sure I was never alone for too long and if I didn’t fancy coming with them, there was never any pressure, just a gentle reminder that they were always there. I signed up to The Oddfellows as a result of the wonderful new friends I made there.”
Joy was also struggling with decisions about her home and finances, which she was now having to make on her own.
She explained: “I’m of a generation where Graham used to take care of all that, so it’s been tough for me to figure out what the right thing to do is sometimes. The Oddfellows was a huge help with this as they have a Citizen’s Advice line for members, which has got me through some complicated times.”
Michael is secretary for The Oddfellows’ Brighton and Sussex District branch, so he has seen many supportive friendships form in the group.
He said: “The time it takes to feel ready to step out and meet people again is a very personal thing. It can be a matter of weeks for some, or possibly years for others.”
From coffee mornings and afternoon teas, to lunch clubs and guest talks, The Oddfellows hold regular events and activities.
Joy said: “Since joining, I’ve become more involved in the organisational side of The Oddfellows and I am a trustee for my branch, which is something that I really enjoy.
“My advice to anybody in this situation is to get out there, socialise as soon as you feel ready and don’t worry about going to events alone.
“People at The Oddfellows are very friendly and you can always just ring ahead to make sure there is somebody to meet you who understands.”
For a free information pack, call 0800 028 1810 or email enquiries@oddfellows.co.uk.
The Oddfellows’ First Steps page www.oddfellows.co.uk/ firststeps also contains some useful information.