I am a moth and six-a-side football is my flame
It’s a new year! Which for some means a time to improve, a time to reflect, a time to forgive. But for me it simply means that my Chichester-based six-a-side football league returns to play for the second half of the season. What a joy. You might look at my team’s overall record and deduce that it would be more sensible for me to dread heading back on to the 3G pitch or do anything to avoid it completely, perhaps fake an injury or get arrested –what with our goal difference resembling the weather report of a particularly harsh winter or with my own personal scoring record being a measly five (only that high because I’ve chosen to include own goals in the figure).
But no, I can’t wait to get back out there. It’s fair to say that I maybe don’t take the game as seriously as some others, or at least I’m not as competitive overall – a point echoed by V2 Radio’s very own managing director Alex Berry who, in the few times he’s played with us, was both baffled and offended to learn that I don’t keep score while we are playing.
For me, in the moment, that is unimportant. Rather, it makes for an additional fun element to the post-match rundown when I get to find out whether or not we won; a similar dynamic to the X Factor results show.
This is not to say that I’m not trying to win, or that I don’t care about the matches at all, in fact somehow, it’s quite the opposite.
Often, it’s the highlight of my week and for the duration of those 30 minutes we’re playing it is very much the only thing in the world that matters.
Every match, mentally, I am playing toplevel Premier League football, and I must give it my all – I can’t let down the fans... the fans in this case being my dad, who sometimes shows up to watch from the side and hurl abuse at the referee, or the nonfootball playing friends who come along purely for the drinks after.
To sum up, I’m not trying to fool myself. I know I’m closer to Sturgeon than Sturridge in my footballing ability.
I just haven’t forgotten why I decided to play in the first place – it’s fun!
I’m not in it for the fame or the fortune. That being said, if any Premier League scouts are reading this – we play on Wednesday nights and I’m open to offers.