Bert’s blarney

To say I’m a bit jealous of Mr Redmond is an understatement. Y’see, I harbour a bit of love for Honda’s forgotten twin-pot sportster as I had one (by default) back in the day. I was working on an august motorcycling magazine back in 1998 when I got the keys to a VTR1000F Firestorm for the year when the deputy editor left, leaving it riderless. Yes, it was a freebie long-termer. Initially, I wasn’t really enamoured with the machine as it seemed to be the typical Honda thing of great bike with zero character, but then the Storm worked its magic on me. Back then I was always on two wheels and hardly in my car, so I racked up the miles on my daily commute as well as long trips to Kent to see the folks. It’s fair to say the Storm is no tourer or even a sports-tourer. Those huge 48mm carbs coupled with a 16-litre tank (later increased to 19 litres from 2001) meant that this bike had a bigger thirst than Oliver Reed in a free bar. I was looking enviously at the replacement 24-litre tanks from Dynomite Performance as soon as I did my first motorway journey. Tank range was pathetic: on the road you’d see the reserve light wink on at around 100-110 miles, or as low as 70 if you were on a track day. Worse, the range on reserve was utterly pants too, meaning you’d be nervously looking around for a service station, as Storms were known to run dry with only 20 miles on reserve. What was there to love? Well, plenty. You crack the throttle open on a Firestorm and the thing will wheelie… easily. 100bhp was the norm for sports 600s and sportstouring machines of the time, but few had the instant grunt of the VTR. It made for a lovely road bike, and the sound… I know Scottie wants original exhausts, but my old Storm had a stage one tune with K&N filters and Dynojet kit courtesy of PDQ, plus a pair of Remus end cans (£606 at the time), which gave a real, beautiful bark to the bike and added dollops of character. I’m ashamed to admit I was a bit of an accessory arse back then and added a carbon fibre hugger/ mudguard, an alarm and (ahem) an Image Works graphics kit, which gave the bike a splash of colour, as mine was black with red logos. What was I thinking? Sadly, R780 ULL didn’t stay spangly long after the decals were applied as I somehow collided with a deer (well, a Muntjac deer) and boringly bent the pin in my left arm, which was the result of a similar crash just 18 months before. Both were on black Hondas and spookily just yards apart… I avoid that road on Hondas to this day. Damage was limited to the right-hand-side of the VTR, but included the tank, pegs, fairing, engine cover, tail unit and end can. The bill was £1,321.68. Interestingly, a quick search on t’web shows ol’ ULL is now a ‘silver’ Honda. Sigh… old girlfriends, eh? As to Scotty’s purchase, well, it’s amazing to think that the new bike I had back then was £8,245 on the road and I put 20,000 miles on mine before parking it up Bambi’s posterior, which is less than HIS has on the clocks all these years later. I will watch with interest and (perhaps) blag the keys for a road test, should he get some standard cans on her.