It’s a fair cop

I really enjoyed reading ʻRapid responseʼ (December), because it brought back an amusing memory of my earlier encounter with two policemen sunning themselves in an open-topped Daimler SP250.

Aged 16 and a few weeks, I had picked up my girlfriend, Pat, from the local girlsʼ grammar school in Harrow. I was not a ʻton-upʼ boy in those days because my trusty means of transport was a mere Honda 50 ʻstep-throughʼ, although to me it was the beeʼs knees. To take Pat home, we had to go over Harrow on the Hill, and you can imagine how fast a Honda 50 climbs a steep hill, two-up.

I became aware of the SP250 behind me when we reached the top of the hill. Clearly I was not speeding, even though I was flatout, but we were pulled over and I was informed that Patʼs foot was on the exhaust pipe, not the footrest. This was not an issue; the problem occurred when she lifted herself off the saddle and my L-plates, which she had been sitting on, fluttered to the floor.

I was banged to rights and my promise that it would never happen again didnʼt wash. He booked me, then asked if I had anything to say; in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, I said possibly the most stupid thing Iʼve ever uttered in my life: “If I didnʼt have a girl on the back, I would have lost you ages ago.”

In the juvenile court, the policeman read out my idiotic reply. The judge was not amused (nor was my father), and I was given a three-month ban and fined a full weekʼs wages – £4.50, which seemed like a lot in 1966.

I am now in my early 70s and still ride a motorbike, today an 850cc Triumph Bonneville. Iʼve also had some really nice cars, including an MGA, but somehow never really fancied a Dart.

Finally, apologies to Pat, whom Iʼm not sure I have seen since she disembarked from my ʼbike with a great deal of dignity, bearing in mind the length of her very non-regulation school uniform.

Stephen Knightley

Via email