Reality star Gemma Collins reveals the horror of her secret miscarriage in a Channel 5 documentary
er turbulent life has been H lived out on screen since she joined TOWIE five years ago and she suffered a highly publicised meltdown in 2014 when she left the I’m A Celeb! jungle in a flood of tears after just three days.
And in new TV show Gemma Collins: In Therapy, the reality star reveals her secret horror at miscarrying a baby at fourand-a-half months while at home with her mum, Joan, in 2012.
IN SHOCK
In a heartbreaking interview, Gemma reveals: “I woke up with excruciating pains, so my mum’s going: ‘Oh Gem, you’ve got a bad stomach – just sit on the toilet, you’re constipated.’ And I’m thinking, ‘No, like, something’s not right here.’ I rung for an ambulance and went to my bedroom.
“My mum could hear how much pain I was in and ran upstairs. At that moment, I came out of my room, looked at her and then ‘bam’ – I ended up giving birth on the landing. I’d given birth to a fourand-a-half-month-old baby, but I didn’t know what it was; I didn’t know what world I’d been living in.
“My initial reaction was: ‘Mum, Mum, Mum – pick it up. What is it? What is it? Pick it up.’ My mum just said: ‘Leave it.’
“The ambulance came shortly after and I was taken to Queen’s Hospital in Romford. I can remember this woman saying to me: ‘Do you want to bury your baby? Do you want to sign it over for scientific research?’”
MASKING HER GRIEF
Adding to her trauma, 35-year-old Gemma – who was dating a long-term friend at the time – explains how she had to then mask her grief and face the world at the National Television Awards just hours later.
Talking to therapist Mandy Saligari, Gemma – whose weight has yo-yoed between a size 22 and a size 14 – continues: “[After the miscarriage] I didn’t know what was going on and I can’t really remember what I said. I do remember getting in the car and my mum crying and me going: ‘Mum, why are you crying? If anyone should be crying, it’s me.’ But I knew I had to go and perform at the National Television Awards. “I look at that picture of me at the awards and I can recall having loads of padding on underneath my dress because I was bleeding heavily. Only I know how I was truly feeling, but to the outside world I was perfectly happy. All they see is a £3,500 dress, my hair done up nicely, a big smile, me posing for the cameras and all the b ****** s that goes with it.
“I had to disassociate myself with that [the miscarriage]. It’s only when I hear you [the therapist] saying it that I think, ‘Bloody hell, that did happen to me.’ But the show had to go on.”
LOOKING AHEAD
Gemma – who left TOWIE in 2014 – has previously spoken about her painful miscarriage in the past, saying she believed it was God’s way of “punishing” her for an
‘I used to have panic attacks about not having the perfect life’
abortion she’d had just months beforehand, after a five-year relationship had ended.
Single Gemma has had a string of rocky romances, including with TOWIE’S James Argent and Charlie King, as well as convicted drug dealer Alex Moss and former convict Stephen Mortimer, plus a broken engagement to businessman Rami Hawash.
She’s previously told Closer: “I’d love to settle down and have children, but I’m content with being single for now. I’m not looking for my perfect prince at the moment – forcing these things only sends you down the wrong path.
“I’ve hit rock-bottom before and I always come back bigger and better; I’m a survivor. I’ve got amazing friends and family who I surround myself with. I used to have panic attacks about not having the perfect life, but I’ve learnt that those things happen naturally. I know I’ll find happiness in the future.”
Closer’s news editor Katie Banks – who’s been a close friend of Gemma’s for the past five years – caught up with the star recently and says she was more confident than ever and determined to focus on the positives in her life.
Katie says: “Gemma’s been so brave to talk about this devastating moment in her life. She’s always been a strong character, despite all the dramas she’s faced, and I’m sure she’s ready to conquer the next chapter.”