Grieving mum:
Families' fury as war report blasts ex-PM
“Mr Blair, my son’s blood is on your hands”
In 2003, Tony Blair led the UK into a controversial war with Iraq, in which 179 lives were lost from our armed forces. Last week, an inquiry cited the conflict was “not justified.” Here Carol Jones, 70 – whose son was killed in 2005 – writes a moving open letter to the former PM
Eleven years ago my son Sergeant John Jones died, he was blown up by a roadside bomb in Basra. The pain is still as raw today as if I’d been told an hour ago.
And the anger is as strong – it’s a war that should never have happened, as the inquiry last week showed, and you, Tony Blair, have his blood on your hands.
John lived for the army, he joined in 1992 when he was 16, and was passionate about it. He fought in Northern Ireland aged 18 and later he served in Bosnia, followed by Iraq. He was sent there for the first time in 2003, then again in 2005. He died two weeks later aged just 31.
I accept that soldiers know the risks they take when they join up and, although it would still be an unbearable loss if he died in a legitimate war, it would be easier to grieve. But this was a senseless war that you led us into, without a genuine cause.
BEAUTIFUL BOY
And it was this war that stole my son – my “little sunshine boy” as I called him. John was the easiest baby in the world – even my labour was quick with him. He slept through the night within weeks and was always smiling. I worshipped him and my other son Gareth, who’s two years older. John was beautiful, cheeky and fun.
Some of my favourite memories are when he’d splash about in the paddling pool on a warm day and then clamber out to make mud pies. He was popular and his teachers were full of praise for him.
At 14, he joined the sea cadets and would go on training courses most weekends. It was the making of him, and when he was 15 he decided to join the army. As soon as he turned 16 he started training at Folkestone. I remember seeing him huddled on the train as he left, he looked so small and lonely – he was still my little boy. That day I went home and sat in his room for hours, I missed him terribly.
From then on, he’d come home when he could on leave. It was always wonderful to see him, I’ve never known anyone as appreciative of my full English breakfast! The house would be filled with his friends, and usually a girlfriend – he was very good-looking. We’d tease him about looking in the mirror.
DEDICATED SOLDIER
When he completed his training, my husband Ray and I were extremely proud. John loved the army, the only time he broke down was when he saw his commanding officer shot dead by a sniper in Northern Ireland. He rang me in tears, but he accepted it was part of army life.
He married Nickie when he was 21 and they had a son, Jack, who’s now 16. He was happy at home and with his career.
When he went to Iraq for the first time in 2003, I wasn’t overly worried, although he’d complain about the lack of equipment, including no first aid kit in his vehicle – I even bought him the boots he needed once. We now know from the inquiry, Mr Blair, that you sent them out without proper equipment.
He served abroad for long periods, but we always kept in touch regularly on the phone. However, he was very protective of me and didn’t tell me too much about what he’d seen – not even after he returned from service in Germany.
But the second time he went to Iraq in 2005, I worried constantly. I can’t explain why, I had a terrible feeling of doom.
On Sunday 20 November, I was cooking our Sunday roast when I heard on the news that a soldier had been killed in Iraq. I turned to Ray and said: “It’s John, I know it’s him.” I can’t explain how, I’d heard about soldiers being killed before and never had that reaction.
Ray told me I was being silly and not to be morbid. But I absolutely knew and I ended up throwing away the lunch and sitting on the sofa waiting for the call to tell me it was him.
GRIEF AND ANGER
It came five hours later – I was hysterical, they had to call the paramedics out to sedate me. The pain was unbelievable. You aren’t supposed to lose your children, it’s not the natural order of things.
I wasn’t allowed to see his body, apparently he belonged to the army once he joined – that seemed so unfair, too.
He had a full military funeral on 8 December 2005 and is buried in Tidworth Military Cemetery.
A complete stranger sent me a condolence card saying how sorry she was for my loss. For some reason that helped a lot and now I send condolence cards to every mother who loses their child in the British Armed Forces. I’ve sent over 500 so far.
The grief is so difficult by itself. But mine was tainted by anger – directed at you Mr Blair. I want you to be held to account for your actions, to be tried and imprisoned. I want you to suffer.
I’ve lost my husband too now, he died 16 months ago of lung disease. He didn’t fight to stay alive as a little bit of him had died when he lost his son.
My house is a shrine to John, covered in his photographs and his medals are mounted on the wall. I will mourn him until the day I die, just like the other 178 UK mums who’ve lost their children in a war that should never have happened.