is Your man’s HOBBY taking over?

Everyone has interests, but if your partner’s footie, gaming or beers on a Friday habit is taking over, it’s time to talk

It’s a common I problem – as relationships become established, we can start to feel taken for granted and how we spend our spare time can be a major contributing factor. It’s all about balance – we all have hobbies and that’s healthy, but if your man spends far more time involved in sports or gaming than hanging out with you, or if his weekly beers with the lads are completely non-negotiable, it’s time for a chat.

Often, the problem is that when you are first in a relationship, your lives can still be quite separate. As you become more serious, it’s natural to assume you’ll be spending more time together. But with the precedent set, sometimes this doesn’t happen, and, if that’s the case, you need to make it clear that your partner needs to get his priorities right.

It’s healthy to have individual interests and friendship groups, but being in a relationship means making time for each other. Talk about the fact you’d like to see more of each other. Suggest how you can get more balance – but make the suggestions fair! For example, suggest a weekly lads’ night changes to fortnightly. Make it clear you support his hobbies, but he needs to be devoted to you as well as his pastime. Also think about ways you could be part of his hobbies, or if there are ways both of you can do something you enjoy together.

If he won’t compromise at all, then he’s giving you a message about your position in his world, and you may want to rethink your relationship.