don’t be embarrassed... let’s talk about sex!

Our sex drives and desires don’t automatically match. Simply opening up to each other about your love life could help you get the best from your relationship

t amazes me how I many couples will talk about everything but never discuss sex. Sexual fantasies and preferences are as unique as you are, and that’s why learning to communicate your needs is so important.

Think of it this way; if you and your partner go out to a fancy restaurant, it’s unlikely that you’d both order exactly the same food, because individual tastes differ. It’s the same with sex.

One of the biggest problems is people simply falling into a routine and pretending they’re satisfied because they want to please their partner. But ultimately you’ll be unfulfilled sexually and that could impact your relationship as a whole.

The easiest way to get back on track is to tell your man about whatever desires you may have. This may involve more foreplay, having sex in places other than the bed, a change in position, or even the introduction of roleplay and sex toys. Just as you wish to please your man, he will want to do the same for you and will also have the opportunity to discuss his own sexual preferences, too.

TALK ABOUT HYGIENE

If particular things are a real turn off for you sexually, mention them. Some people may not fancy kissing until they’ve brushed their teeth or showered, but if they don’t say so, their partner can just come to the assumption they aren’t interested when all it would have taken was a quick splash in the bathroom.

Initially, we can all be a little touchy about having our personal hygiene brought into play, but addressing it means the problem can be solved, and you are being mutually respectful of each other’s needs, which is a great boost for intimacy.

FEELING REJECTED

Differences in libido can also cause problems, if you like to have sex once a day and he likes it once a week. You may feel rejected when he turns you down, and this can lead to some pretty big insecurities, when it actually has nothing to do with him not fancying you, it’s just his sexual appetite.

Taking time to ask each another how you both feel about your sex life can feel intimidating, from the time of day to the position, frequency to favourite moves, but it’s the only way you can both get the best from your relationship.