HOW TO COPE AFTER A MISCARRIAGE

One in six pregnancies ends in a miscarriage – if it happens to you, seek support and allow yourself to grieve

Last November I suffered my fourth miscarriage. I’ve never been able to have children naturally – both my sons were conceived using fertility drugs [which stimulate egg production] – but when I saw those two pink lines appear, I felt like the luckiest woman alive.

Nine weeks later, I bled; the beginning of the end for my baby and the dreams I had for him or her. Most people tell you that you can try again, and that something was probably wrong because nature knows best. But after a miscarriage, you don’t want another baby, you want that baby. The baby that had been growing in your body. .

Accepting that you have a right to grieve is absolutely essential where miscarriage is concerned. Don’t just carry on as normal – it isn’t normal, you have suffered a loss and you need space and time. Tell your partner or someone close how you truly feel.

Go online and speak to other people who have been affected by miscarriage, because they understand exactly what you’re going through. I’ve found the Channel Mum group on Facebook to very supportive.

Try to create a memory box for your lost babies. I keep my positive test with mine and some notes that my family wrote, welcoming he or she into my family. For those who have late miscarriages, scattering your baby’s ashes somewhere you can visit can make it a little easier.

It takes time to recover, so don’t hide your pain and seek the support you need.