JOANNA LUMLEY: ‘I travel a lot – and I’m bl**dy old’

The ravishing Joanna Lumley, 71, returns to India for an epic new ITV docu-series where she drinks camel milk, eats with her hands – and meets the Dalai Lama...

ndia is a big place –

I was it hard to choose where to visit?

Darling, I wanted to go everywhere. But I can’t go, “Oh, I’d love to go there…” Joanna Lumley’s holidaying again! They aren’t holidays, I promise you. But we could have done 15 programmes, two hours each and never scratch the surface.

Do people know you over there?

No, because they don’t see British television. It was wonderful being able to move unobserved as it were, and they were cool as cucumbers when it came to being filmed.

Was anything particularly alien to you?

Not really, because I’ve travelled a lot – and because I’m bl**dy old! I’ve been around the block and I’ve been in India a lot.

Can you share any highlights?

Seeing elephants in the wild was utterly thrilling; though at first there was a terror of not spotting any at all. You just can’t summon up wild elephants in India – but suddenly they started coming out of the forest. You just go, “This is paradise.”

What about drinking camel milk in episode one?

In these shows, they [the producers] are always pushing me forward and saying, “So, Joanna, on camera we want you to take it and eat it, in whatever form it’s offered to you” – and so you do. It was like single cream and extraordinary beautiful. And eating with your hands (the indian way of dining)? That was the most disgusting thing, but I thought, “I’ve got to do this, the cameras are rolling.” The locals managed to mould the rice into lovely little blocks and somehow mop it up easily, all on a banana leaf. Of course, it’s the cleanest way of eating. I was thinking, ‘Bl**dy hell, they’ve used nothing!’ I was [a] disgusting [mess].

And you met transsexuals in kolkata?

That was extraordinary; it went to my heart. There are about 30,000 transsexuals in Kolkata – and these boy-girl people can’t yet afford the operation and are treated like filth.

What’s the Dalai lama like?

He is quite fantastic. I wanted to take His Holiness a sensational gift, and I was told he likes biscuits as his last meal of the day. Biscuits! I’ve always known he loves gadgets, so I said, “Let’s give him a drone!” He spent the afternoon teaching a young monk how to fly it, and now I think he’ll be a funky Dalai Lama travelling with a drone.

What did you miss most about home while filming?

I’ve got a strange rule, and people will think I’m cruel or mad, but I don’t phone home. I’ve never been much of a phone person, who wants to hear me yapping away? But I love to write so I send emails. It’s like letters from home. I went to boarding school and it’s always lovely to go back and re-read them.

Did you pick up any souvenirs?

I cannot resist souvenirs! I really loved the little prayer sticks that were almost like children’s toys. And scarves and shawls, well, you just go mad for them. You look “absolutely fabulous.” Can you share a top beauty tip? I am properly addicted to [Joanna roots around in her handbag] – this! It’s Rive Gauche [scent], by Yves Saint Laurent. I always carry it with me. If I have that on I can go anywhere…