‘My fiancé had sex with a hooker and it crushed me’
SIMONE*, 42, FROM NORTH LONDON, WORKS IN PROMOTIONS. SHE SAYS: “I thought my relationship with my fiancé Tony*, 53, was perfect. We met through mutual friends and he treated me well. He was funny, successful, and we enjoyed each other’s company. Our sex life was very healthy – we’d make love at least once a day, if not twice.
“But then, six years into our relationship, I discovered in the worst way imaginable that my fiancé was cheating on me. I was on his computer, I can’t even remember why – but he knew I borrowed it occasionally – and clicked on a video. I genuinely wasn’t snooping as I hadn’t suspected anything.
DISBELIEF
“Horrifically, the video was of him having sex with another woman. I felt sick. When I confronted him and he admitted the woman was a prostitute, I was crushed. I couldn’t believe he’d do that to me. And I can’t understand why he needed to. She wasn’t younger or more beautiful than me, or indulging a fetish. I felt so humiliated and just sad that he could cheat on me.
“He confessed that he’d been seeing escorts since he was in his teens and that his father had seen them too – he thought it was a normal part of life. He told me it meant nothing and it was ‘just sex.’
“My instinct was to leave – I didn’t feel I could trust him again. That evening, I went to a hotel and sobbed all night, my self-esteem was on the floor. The next day I had an STI check and, to my horror, I had chlamydia. I couldn’t see a way back.
“But he begged me to stay and promised he’d never do it again. I was so low and I still loved him despite everything. An added complication was that he had a 10-year-old son, who I adored. I’d known him since he was two and we shared custody of him with Tony’s ex. I wanted to stay in his life.
“Tony promised to change but, two years later, he called me when I was working away to check when I’d be back. Alarm bells rang and I raced home.
LACK OF TRUST
“He was alone when I got back – but the guilt on his face when he saw me told me everything. I asked to see his phone and from his text messages I saw that he’d arranged for two escorts to come over. That killed it for me. Once he realised I wasn’t going to stay with him, he admitted that he’d never stopped seeing escorts and doubted he ever would. He didn’t even seem to care – he just said ‘all men do it.’
“It’s three years on now and I’d love to meet someone but I don’t see how I’ll ever trust a man again.”