HOW TO EARN YOUR CHILDREN’S RESPECT

All parents will find themselves in a stand-off with their kids at some point, and figuring out why they’re playing up is vital

Children are usually rude or disrespectful for a reason – they may disagree with your point of view, or feel that you’re asking them to get involved with something they’re disinterested in. Seeing the world through their eyes can be useful, and it will show them that you understand why they’re unhappy.

Without a safe space to vent their feelings, frustrations can boil over and affect behaviour. Find 15 minutes every day to chat with your child, check what’s going on in their world and help them find positive ways to express their emotions.

Be sure to check your own behaviour, too, because if your child sees you being disrespectful or rude to other people – or them – they’re likely to act in a similar manner. Respectful adults create respectful kids.

Don’t take their behaviour personally; kids throw their anger and unhappiness at the people they love, because they know you’ll still love them no matter how nasty they are, so see them as a confused child who hasn’t got the resources to deal with their feelings appropriately in that moment.

After an incident has taken place, wait until the atmosphere is calm, then sit down with your child to explore how they feel about the way they acted. Helping them to de-construct their actions means they’re less likely to repeat them.

Finally, remember that children need to develop their own opinions and beliefs. Simply telling them that they’re wrong because they disagree with you does more harm than good. Respect has to start with you.