DON’T FALL OUT OVER MOVING IN!

New research shows couples mostly argue over space and mess when they get a new place. Emma explains how to cohabit happily

Moving in together is M a huge relationship milestone, but the initial excitement is often replaced by frustration.

One in ten couples row over a lack of space, with over half of men believing their partner takes up more than their fair share, while over a third of women admit their partner’s messy behaviour annoys them.

So far, so stress-inducing. For true harmony, you need structure. Agree a time when you are both calm to discuss what is frustrating you. Often, partners don’t realise how upsetting their behaviour is, so this gives them a chance to change things. Make sure that you are open to criticism too, because you may have your own annoying habits.

Agree on how to divide up space fairly, so nobody feels they’re missing out, and decide who does what where cleaning is concerned. If you long for a sparkling bathroom, but a pile of dishes in the sink doesn’t bother you, yet he washes cups before you’ve finished a mouthful and never cleans the loo, you know what to do! Whatever household tasks are left, draw names so it’s fair. Then, each week, sit down to discuss how it’s going, so if standards are slipping, you can sort it. Try to focus on the positives and pick your battles. The more we zone in on the negatives, the unhappier we feel. If your partner loves you, demonstrates that they care for you, makes you feel safe and has your back, never changing the bedding or forgetting to pick up their socks isn’t so important in the grand scheme of things.