RELATIONSHIPS GET OVER YOUR BLUSHES & DISCUSS SEX WITH KIDS

Talking to children about sexual intimacy can seem a daunting task and many parents say they feel ill-quipped to give the right advice. Emma understands, but says we need to broach the subject

It’s easy to see why I parents shy away from talking about sex; it’s been handed down through the generations. They find it awkward, or worry they’ll destroy their children’s innocence, or may feel they don’t understand their son or daughter’s sexual orientation, so avoid the topic. But kids need information to make good, healthy and safe choices. There is a wealth of research that shows such conversations lead to children feeling better about sex and relationships, and being far more likely to use contraception and ask for your advice.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

Learn as much as you can and introduce topics about sex, sexuality and relationships. Explain how to prevent STIS, what consent means, and why it matters.

PITCH IT RIGHT

In particular, LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning) children may feel they are faced with more barriers when it comes to talking about sex with their parents, fearing they won’t understand or feel comfortable acknowledging their sexuality. If you’re the parent of an LGBTQ child, look at charities like Stonewall. org.uk and Allsortsyouth.org. uk for advice and ways to meet parents in the same position.

Young children often ask about sex, just answer them accurately. The first time I spoke to my boys about it was when they were aged two and four. My eldest asked why I didn’t have a willy, so we spent the rest of the car journey discussing this – which instigated the next decade of talking about pretty much everything about sex.

JUST BE HONEST

As they reach puberty, arm them with the basics about sex and puberty. If your child isn’t heterosexual, they may fear prejudice, rejection or bullying, so instil a sense of tolerance and acceptance. Explain that people don’t “choose” their sexuality, it’s just part of who they are.

If you aren’t educating your kids about sex, they could be hearing it from their mates or watching porn – which doesn’t reflect real sex or relationships. For more advice, visit sexual health charity Brook.org.uk.