Advice

Daily life can be riddled with stresses, from homework rows to dinner meltdowns, so use Emma’s strategies to cope

Research has found R that the average parent is stressed six times a day. I’d expect it to be more like 60. That’s why we need to create strategies to ease the load. Make a weekly family timetable and share it with everyone. Help your kids to take responsibility for their activities by telling them to have their kit ready on time, delegate tasks to your partner or any other support, and schedule scrupulously – research shows it saves you 45 minutes a day.

Don’t sweat the small stuff and end up in a battle of wills with kids – just because you feel that going shopping for groceries is important, doesn’t mean that they should. Try to see the world through their eyes. If you have older kids, attempt to avoid projecting your fears onto them. I struggled academically, so I felt responsible for my sons’ exams. I realised recently that this was my baggage and decided to let go of that fear. Now, I encourage my boys, but don’t feel responsible for their grades. They know if they work hard and take responsibility, they will be loved whatever the outcome.

Use the simple, but hugely effective, three options method. If your kids fuss about what they want to eat, or where they want to go, only give them three options. This revolutionised my mealtimes, and we still use it today. Stress is part of parenting, but as long as laughter, love and fun are a bigger part, you are doing a great job – even if your kids haven’t worn a pair of matching socks for five years (like mine!).