The truth behind Kerry’s secret heartache
After Kerry Katona repeatedly breaks down on Celebs Go Dating, insiders reveal she’s battling to get over her ex, Ryan Mahoney
❛ AFTER SO MANY BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS, SHE’S LOST ALL OF HER CONFIDENCE ❜
Her erratic behaviour on Celebs Go Dating sparked concern as Kerry Katona slurred her words, appeared to forget how many children she had, suffered tearful meltdowns, necked drinks and repeatedly spok spoke about her ex-husband Brian Mcfadden.
Viewers were also left stunned by former Atomic Kitten star Kerry’s crude humour when she referenced one of her old hits, saying, “I need a man to make me whole again, and get in my hole again!”
But it wasn’t long before the troubled reality star, 37, exposed her insecurities, saying, “Who’s going to date someone who’s been married three times?”
FRAGILE
And pals say that Kerry – who admitted to Closer just six months ago that she was “in a bad place” and feared “slipping back into bad habits”, seemingly referring to her previous drug addiction – is still pining over her ex Ryan Mahoney, from whom she split in September.
A source says, “Kerry is fragile. Her heart has been bruised countless times and she doesn’t feel like she wants to take a risk with anyone new. She really wanted Ryan to be The One – she was deliriously happy with him and knew it was all of her insecurities that
ruined what they had. She’s heartbroken it didn’t work out. She’s barely confided to anyone about it, because she can’t handle people telling her she messed it up, it’s tearing her apart. It’s a secret between her and her closest mates, but she can’t seem to get over him.”
Kerry and personal trainer Ryan, 29, got together in June last year, but suddenly split three months later. Kerry told Closer in January that she “went into lockdown and backed away” when things got too serious, but as we reported last month, they were still in touch.
The source says, “They’re still close friends and speak all the time – she just wishes there was a way to make it work. When she’s going on dates, she still thinks of him – it’s heartbreaking for her. Kerry thought that going dating would be fun and mark a new chapter, but she’s terrified – all it’s done is bring out her issues. After so many broken relationships, she’s lost all of her confidence.”
BREAKING DOWN
And when it comes to love, Kerry has been through the mill. She had a bitter split from Brian – with whom she has Molly, 17, and Lilly-sue, 16 – and later admitted she married drug dealer Mark Croft – with whom she has daughter Heidi, 11, and son Max, 10 – to “make Brian jealous”. After her third marriage to former rugby player George Kay – with whom she has Dylan Jorge, four – ended in 2017, Kerry went on a self- imposed dating ban before meeting Ryan.
In the first few episodes of the Channel 4 show, Kerry broke down when she spoke about Brian, dubbing him “the only love of her life” and recalling the early days of their relationship, before he cheated on his stag do. Pals say she’s never truly recovered from that break-up, but it’s now Ryan who she really wants.
RELAPSE CONCERNS
The source says, “Brian was the first man to show Kerry what a happy, loving relationship could be like. When she lost that, she lost her belief in love – it’s what causes her to break down when she talks about Brian.
“Ryan is the first person since Brian that she’s felt she might finally be able to get her happy- ever-after with.”
The star – who has a history of alcohol and drug abuse and suffers from bipolar disorder – has also caused concern recently with her drinking. She was called out by former friend and fellow addict Danniella Westbrook, who last week accused Kerry of relapsing.
The source says, “Kerry is self- conscious going on dates, let alone on camera. She uses alcohol as her crutch and is totally torn as, on one hand she’d love to be with someone, and on the other, she can’t get over Brian and wants to be with Ryan but pushed him away. Her kids are her main focus so she’s determined to put all her energy into her family.”