HOW TO PROTECT KIDS FROM SEXUAL PREDATORS

In light of the recent Michael Jackson documentary, Emma has been inundated with messages from worried parents about how to shield children from abuse. Here she shares her insights

Shock documentary Leaving Neverland brought to life new revelations about the late singer Michael Jackson, with accusers Wade Robson and James Safechuck claiming he sexually abused them when they were young – which the Jackson estate has denied. The allegations – if true – have left many to question how the boys’ parents didn’t realise what was going on. But it isn’t so clear-cut.

BE UNDERSTANDING

Parents often believe their kids won’t become victims of abuse because they would speak up, but one in six children will be sexually abused before their 16th birthday. I have worked with many victims of sexual abuse, and very few realised what was happening at the time. You may think your child could never be tricked into an abusive relationship, but what if their abuser was also a loving relative or teacher, who made them feel special? What if they were able to convince your child they had a secret relationship they must not discuss. Try to empathise with your child’s possible confusion and self-hate. The signs of grooming aren’t always apparent and predators will often go to great lengths not to be identified. If a child is being groomed, they may be very secretive, including about what they are doing online and having new things such as clothes or mobile phones they can’t or won’t explain. If you find out your child is being groomed, respond with compassion. Remember, it can be difficult to come forward and tell an adult what has happened – they are often embarrassed and fear adults won’t understand. Keep repeating the phrase “this is not your fault” as, irrespective of their actions or collusion, they are innocent children.

LISTEN & REASSURE

Tell them they don’t have to be afraid and that you believe them. I have always discussed sex and relationships with my sons, so when my eldest received inappropriate messages from a predator, my youngest told me immediately. Every child is potentially at risk, so educate yours, make them feel safe and they should talk to you. For advice, call the NSPCC on 020 7825 2500, or visit Stopitnow.org.