‘I lost six family members – I will never get over it’
Sawsan Choucair, 43, lived in Grenfell Tower – she was staying with a friend on the night of the blaze, but lost her mum, her sister, her brother-inlaw and three nieces.
She says, “At the time the fire broke out, I wasn’t in the flat that I shared with my mum Sirria, 61. I’d been feeling ill, so after I finished my shift at the bakery where I worked, I went to a friend’s house nearby and ended up falling asleep there.
“A friend from the tower called me in the early hours of the morning and told me about the fire. Terrified, I raced home, desperately trying to call my family in the taxi but I couldn’t get through. My sister, Nadia, 33, her husband Bassem, 40, and my three nieces – Mierna, 13, Fatima , 11, and three-yearold Zainab – lived in the tower, too, also on the 22nd floor.
“When I got there, just before 3am, I finally got through on my mobile to my sister, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I screamed, telling them all to get out. They were inside their flat, and couldn’t see how out of control the fire was. But I could, and I knew their only hope was to escape.
“I remember standing there in floods of tears, watching the huge flames and praying that by some miracle they’d make it out alive.
“Later that morning, I searched for them in nearby hospitals. But, instinctively, I knew they’d died, and that I’d been standing there, helplessly watching, as they breathed their last.
“I’ve since heard recordings of them speaking to the emergency services. I could hear my beloved nieces in the background crying and someone – either my mum or my sister – comforting them, telling them not to worry as they’d be OK and all die together. Those words will stay with me forever. I wish I’d been with them – I know I would have made them leave. We might have all survived.
“My life was destroyed that night. I’ve been rehomed, but it feels empty without my family – I’ve been living alone for the first time in my life. At Grenfell, we were in and out of each other’s homes all the time. I still have flashbacks.
I’ll be sitting on a chair, awake, and see a wall of fire coming through the door. I can’t work, I can’t sleep,
I’m on medications and I’ve had counselling. I miss my family with every part of me. And I feel so much anger – why were we housed in a death trap? It shouldn’t have happened. I don’t know how I can ever move on.”