HOW TO TELL SOMEONE THEY ARE DRINKING TOO MUCH

Recent research found that one in five people in England has been harmed in some way by others’ alcohol use over the past year. Emma says we can’t ignore the problem

Alcohol is a big issue, costing billions in health problems and crime, but it’s not only drinkers that can get hurt. Research has found that one in five people in England has been harmed by someone else’s drinking in the past year. Nearly one in 20 experienced aggression, either being physically threatened, or pressurised into doing something sexual.

MAKE THEM AWARE

Women are around twice as likely to experience alcoholrelated emotional harm or neglect, with nearly one in 20 experiencing violence and aggression. Very often, problem drinkers are so consumed with their addiction that they are unaware of the effect it is having on others, so communication is key. Excusing their behaviour only enables it to continue.

GET THE TIMING RIGHT

Wait for the right time, when you’re both calm and clearheaded, and don’t be judgmental or disapproving, which will make them defensive. Instead, express concern through open questions that provide the opportunity for honest discussion. Say something like, “I worry you’re not yourself, and maybe you’re drinking more to feel happier. What do you think?” Initial attempts are likely to be met with denial, but persevere. Make them aware of your feelings towards their drinking, and, if necessary, show them any physical harm you’ve suffered. Be aware of the help available. Drinkchat, Alcoholics Anonymous, Addaction and the Samaritans offer confidential, free advice. ADFAM, Al-Anon and The National Association for Children of Alcoholics help friends and family of problem drinkers. Also, talk to someone you trust about the problem, so you feel supported.

PROTECT YOURSELF

If you are at immediate risk of physical harm due to someone’s drinking, remove yourself from the situation and call the police. Your welfare takes priority and it may be the wake-up call they need. You can’t force them to get help, but letting them know that you’ll be there to support them could give them the courage to take that first step.