AN OPEN ARRANGEMENT WON’T FIX YOUR ISSUES

Apparently many of us fancy the idea of opening up our relationship, but Emma warns it could be more trouble than it’s worth

What worries me about people seeking out “looser” relationships is what it reveals about the public’s perception of monogamy.

Great partnerships go through challenges, including times when you will feel less attracted and less committed to each other. When you are monogamous, you need to confront these concerns to survive the blip, but if you have an open arrangement, instead of working through your problems and growing as a couple, you simply fulfil your needs elsewhere. The main reason people have “open” relationships is a belief that it sustains a more interesting sex life. That may be true, but while no-strings sex might seem a seductive solution, wouldn’t it be better to work on your love life with your partner? Very few couples can sustain polyamorous relationships, because watching your partner getting excited about another love interest and spending intimate time with them can be excruciatingly painful. Jealousy and insecurity are hugely common.

Communication is key to all happy relationships, so if you have problems in yours, or you feel restless with your “settled” life then, before bringing other people in, try to find some strategies to reignite the spark. Successful relationships thrive because of the hard work both parties put in. Monogamy may seem vanilla, but the reality is that open relationships really do cause distress, jealousy and loneliness in all but a very small minority.