WHY DOES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SPIKE AT THIS TIME OF YEAR?
Last year saw a 28 per cent rise in calls to domestic violence helplines in January following a bleak festive season for the 1.6m women who are abused by their partners
For Hollie Woolford, Christmas was far from a happy, magical time. The 29-year-old mum suffered domestic violence at the hands of her ex-husband, and the beatings were so severe she feared she wouldn’t live to see her 30th birthday.
The abuse she suffered – which terrifyingly included being battered with a rolling pin – was always worse at Christmas, because her abuser knew this was the time of year Hollie enjoyed the most.
Hollie, who lives in Kent, says, “There’s a huge emphasis on family during the festive period. You are bombarded with adverts of the ‘perfect’ family celebrations, which only drove home how different my life was. I felt trapped.
“One year, the parsnips I’d ordered for Christmas dinner didn’t arrive and he went crazy at me, telling me how useless I was. Once, he wouldn’t allow us to celebrate at all and I was too scared to argue with him.”
KILLED
Recent statistics show that Holly’s case is sadly all-too common. Almost one in three women will experience domestic violence, and two women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales. More young women die in the UK through domestic violence than cancer.
According to government figures, assault and domestic murders increase 25 per cent during the festive period and incidents go up by a third on Christmas Day itself.
From December 2018 to January 2019, the national domestic abuse helpline, run by Refuge, saw a 28.1 per cent increase in calls.
ADDED STRAIN
Meanwhile, the Domestic Abuse Bill – introduced by Theresa May’s government in July, which would place a legal duty on councils to provide refuge for those fleeing violence, and their children – has been lost due to the snap general election.
Sharon Erdman, Head of Operations for domestic violence charity Refuge, says, “Domestic violence is a yearround problem. But following
Christmas we do see a spike in calls to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline. It can be much more tense when more of you are at home – the children aren’t at school and most people don’t work over Christmas.
“Equally, there can be added strain trying to hide your situation both from your children and also friends and family who visit. It’s important for women to realise that they can have that happy Christmas. In our refuges, we make it incredibly special, so many of the women feel that glimmer of hope that things will get better.”
Hollie met Daniel CapstickBedson when she was just 15 and he was 27. She remembers, “He owned a local laundrette and we gradually got to know each other – he’d invite me and my friend over to have a drink in the evenings.
“Over the next year, our relationship developed. He treated me like a grownup and showered me with presents. Looking back, it was obvious he was controlling and grooming me. I’d had a troubled childhood and he knew this.”
The couple got married shortly after Hollie turned 18 – and it was then that he began to show his true colours.
ESCALATING
She says, “It started off as psychological abuse, then escalated to physical. He’d regularly beat me with a rolling pin and one night he walked in with a kettle full of boiling water and poured it over me. I went into shock and couldn’t even scream as the water burned me.
“I was in agony and it left me with scarring all up my right thigh, but Daniel wouldn’t allow me to go to the hospital. We saw our GP a few days later and I had to lie about what had happened.”
Capstick-Bedson’s most dangerous attack was when he stabbed her in the chest. Hollie says, “His anger would flare so suddenly. One morning, he started hitting me with a chair because I’d annoyed him. Then he went to the kitchen and came back with a knife and shoved it into my chest. I thought I was going to die.
“Before he dialled 999, he made me promise I’d tell the medics that I’d fallen on to the knife while preparing food. Without treatment I’d have died as he punctured my lung. I was discharged the next day after he made me tell the doctors I felt well enough to leave hospital.”
THE PARSNIPS DIDN’T ARRIVE FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER & HE WENT CRAZY AT ME
It was another two years before Hollie plucked up the courage to leave in 2015. Refuge always suggest putting together a departure plan but, for Hollie, one afternoon in January
2015, after another turbulent Christmas, it became too much and she fled to a local hotel.
BRAINWASHED
She says, “It was risky, but I’d had enough. I’d been able to squirrel away a bit of money without him knowing. At the hotel, I sought legal support and they helped me secure a place in a refuge.”
While she waited to be moved into the refuge, Hollie went to the police about the abuse she’d suffered at the hands of her husband and he was arrested.
Refuge supported her through the court proceedings and offered counselling.
Three days before Christmas in 2017, Capstick-Bedson was found guilty on all charges at Lewes Crown Court and was sentenced to 16 years in prison.
She says, “It was only when he was locked up that I felt free. It was the best Christmas I’d had in years because I felt safe.
“People might ask why
I didn’t leave before then
– but he groomed me. I was terrified of what he’d do.
“And when I left, I was worried about how he’d cope without me. That’s how much I’d been brainwashed and manipulated.
“But I want to tell my story to let other women know that there is a way out and that you can be happy again.”
By Mel Fallowfield
● This Christmas, the UK’s largest domestic abuse charity Refuge will be supporting more women and children than ever. To donate to Refuge’s Christmas gift list, visit Refuge.org.uk/Christmas.