‘I finally feel ready to celebrate again’
Since the tragic death of her mum, Georgina Tarawally has cared for her siblings. So, Closer arranged a Christmas treat...
Three years ago, Helen Tarawally died – she was only 51 and left behind four devastated children and just 37p in her bank account.
Her eldest child, Georgina, then 22, barely had time to grieve. She went into survival mode and was determined to keep her family together, both mentally and physically. It meant dropping out of university and taking care of her then 12-year-old brother, Kwasi.
Georgina, who lives in south London, says, “My dad left us ten years ago and we didn’t see him again, so there was nobody else but me to take care of him. It was a difficult situation but I was more than happy to do so.
“Mum’s illness was a terrible shock. She’d been feeling tired and losing weight for a few months and had tummy problems. But her GP only treated her for constipation.
HAUNTED
“She was finally diagnosed with bowel cancer in September but, by then, the tumour was so big they couldn’t operate. I dropped out of uni as soon as mum was diagnosed – I had to help her with all the appointments. Cancer becomes a full-time job.”
Tragically, doctors decided that the cancer was too far advanced for chemotherapy to be effective. For the next two months, Helen was in and out of hospital.
Georgina remembers, “I couldn’t quite believe what was happening. One minute, I was a carefree student, the next I was nursing my terminally ill mother.
“Mum had always been so strong – she brought us up pretty much on her own. She worked hard, first as a carer and then as a dinner lady. But she was always there for us. We didn’t have much materially, but there was so much love in our house.
“I’m haunted by her final days – I didn’t leave her side in the hospital. She was in a lot of pain and terribly confused. Towards the end, she told me to look after my siblings and keep the family together. I vowed that I would do anything not to let her down.”
After her death on 29 November 2016, Georgina’s most immediate problem was how to feed herself, Kwasi and her twin siblings – brother,
Kojo and sister, Adjoa, now 22.
Georgina says, “We were left with nothing. We had no other close family as mum was born in Sierra Leone. Friends did rally round, bringing us food, but we couldn’t rely on that – instead we would visit food banks so we could eat.
“The first Christmas after her death just didn’t happen – we were deeply mourning our mother and felt we had
nothing to celebrate.”
The twins, then 19, and Georgina were desperately sad, but for Kwasi it was particularly difficult.
TERRIFIED
Georgina says, “He was so young to lose his mum and he was terrified of what would happen to him. I reassured him that I would always care for him, but I had to walk him to school every day as he was too anxious to go on his own.
“He barely slept and, when he did, he had terrible nightmares. He stopped eating, too, despite always loving his food. I was terrified that he would become seriously ill.”
It took time, but Kwasi slowly came to terms with his loss – helped by his sister finally being granted custody in May 2018.
Georgina says, “It had been hanging over us for nearly 18 months, I felt like we were in limbo. Once that was sorted, life became easier. I settled into being Kwasi’s ‘mum’. There’s still a lot of parenting when your child is a teenager.
“It’s not the night feeds and sleepless nights that come with a baby, but I have to help him with his grief, and then there’s the cooking, cleaning and planning that goes into caring for a family.”
Incredibly, Georgina managed to go back to university a year after her mother’s death and has completed her degree in communications. She is now doing internships. But there’s been precious little time or money for fun.
OVERWHELMED
When Closer approached her about treating her to a weekend away of her choice, she was overwhelmed, saying, “No one has ever planned anything for us before, this is amazing.”
We sent her and Kwasi away for a shopping weekend in Portsmouth Harbour. There, they had meals out, visited the Spinnaker Tower, a 170-metre tall observation tower with panoramic views, and went shopping – with a voucher kindly donated by Gunwharf Quays – and stayed overnight in the Holiday Inn Express.
Georgina says, “For the first time in years, I could spoil Kwasi without worrying about money – he got some amazing new trainers. I bought some things that I needed from Marks & Spencer. Christmas came early!
“One of the biggest treats was just being away from our flat. Sadly, it’s not in a good state as we have mould and damp. And not cooking for once was so nice! I can’t remember the last time we could actually afford to eat in a restaurant.
“For the first time in a long time, I finally feel ready to celebrate again.”
❛ ONE MINUTE I WAS A CAREFREE STUDENT, THE NEXT I WAS NURSING MY TERMINALLY ILL MOTHER ❜