MANAGING YOUR GRIEF THROUGH THE FESTIVITIES
Many will be facing the season keenly feeling the absence of a much-missed loved one. Emma is among them, having lost her dad. She explains how to make the best of the day…
This Christmas will be the toughest I have ever experienced. My gorgeous dad died this year. He was my rock, my best friend, and – during my single-mum years – my co-parent and wingman. It has brought home how this time of year can feel bleak or lonely for many of us.
ASK FOR A HUG
If you, like me, are dealing with the devastation of grief, then make sure you offer yourself understanding and kindness. It’s exhausting managing the pain, without having huge expectations of yourself, or pretending everything is fine. Reach out for a hug, or to give yourself some space when you need it. If you don’t have any family or friendly support around you and you are struggling with grief, please don’t just sit at home feeling dreadful. There are lots of volunteer projects that would love your support on Christmas Day. Crisis, The Salvation Army and The Royal Volunteering Service are just a few. Accept that you cannot expect your first Christmas without a loved one to feel the same. You will be sad, and you may resent people who are happy and celebrating. But that’s OK – it’s all part of adapting to your life with loss, and it won’t always feel this bad.
CHANGE YOUR ROUTINE
I am trying to manage my grief by breaking with tradition. Normally, we visit other family members in the morning, then
I host. Instead, this year on Christmas morning, we will go out with our dogs and talk about my dad. Then I have invited a single mum and her kids – who have no other family – to join us, adding a new and positive energy that I hope will make the day less painful.
REACH OUT TO OTHERS
If you are struggling, there are support groups like Cruse Bereavement Care (Cruse.org.uk) that you can turn to. And if you know someone who is grieving, please reach out to them.
And don’t just text: pick up the phone, or – even better – turn up with a nice bottle of red and some chocolate to share. Because that kind of generosity fills much more than just the stomach.