‘Being together 24/7 creates issues – but you’ll get through this!’

Most people will be aware that January is “divorce month” as it sees a spike in break-ups due to couples being forced to spend more time together over Christmas.

And although relationship expert and divorce coach

Sara Davison warns that pressure will be heightened now the nation has been ordered to stay at home, she says there are ways to keep partnerships healthy during this emotionally challenging time.

PRESSURE

Sara explains, “Many couples are used to leading quite ‘separate’ lives – they work away from each other, socialise with their own friends, have their own hobbies and often don’t end up seeing that much of each other. “Suddenly being together 24/7 can highlight issues in the relationship. During lockdown, couples will not only be forced into spending time together without any distractions or help from family, but they will be living under an enormous amount of stress and anxiety.

They will be worried about their health and finances and very possibly losing loved ones. For couples with children, they will also have to educate them, while many are trying to work from home. It will put pressure on the best of relationships.

“But it doesn’t have to end in divorce. There are strategies that couples can put into place and one of the first is to accept that your life has completely changed and to realise that, whatever happens, you can get through this. Have that mindset, rather than trying to fight the situation. Go into planning mode – have whole family meetings and also meetings just as a couple. And keep having them – this is a fast-changing situation, so you need to be flexible but discuss any adjustments that you feel you have to make.

“Make a list of what jobs need to be done and share them out between you and pledge to stick to them. Agree that reminding someone about their task does not constitute nagging! That way, resentments won’t build up. If you do find bad feeling building up then talk about it immediately – you can’t afford to let anything fester under these circumstances. Accept that you will all need some personal space. Even in a onebedroom flat you can make an agreement to have a bit of time out in the bedroom, where you won’t be interrupted – and make sure you both have the same amount of time.

BABY BOOM

“Try not to let everyone disappear into their gadgets. Instead, see this as an opportunity to really spend time together – play board games or bake and cook.

“And mentally try to flip the situation and look for the positives. It’s likely you will no longer be coming in after a long day at work and commute feeling frazzled, so, make the most of the additional time you’ve got. Social media is predicting a baby boom, saying people will make use of the extra

❛ USE THIS TIME POSITIVELY AND SURRENDER TO THE SITUATION ❜

time to have sex. These future offspring have already been dubbed the “coronials”.

APPRECIATION

And while some people will feel irritated being cooped up with their other half, other couples might appreciate each other more for the way they are coping in a crisis. And let’s face it, sex is the best free entertainment out there – having an orgasm releases happy hormones that are stress-relieving and good for your mental health. It seems couples may have been planning ahead, as sales of sex toys have soared by 13 per cent since the crisis started. But if you’re not keen on using them to spice things up, then consider other methods – for example, sneaking off for sex in the middle of the day if you’re both working from home. However you choose to spend those extra hours, the key to surviving this pandemic with your relationship intact is to relax into it, use the time positively and surrender to the situation.” By Mel Fallowfield ● For more on Sara’s Breakup Retreats, visit Saradavison.com