ENSURE YOU DON’T PASS ANXIETY ON TO YOUR KIDS
With families cooped up and struggling with money worries, job pressures and homeschooling, it’s no wonder parents may feel overwhelmed. Here, Emma reveals how to manage stress in a healthy way
As a parent, your primary concern is your children – but you’re also human and you may find yourself having the occasional, and completely understandable, wobble.
EXPLAIN HOW YOU FEEL
You may be having more arguments with your partner, or be snapping unfairly at your child when they ask you when they can see their friends for the hundredth time. You need to shield your kids from as much stress and anxiety as you can, but you should also offer them a realistic explanation for any sudden outbursts.
As well as rowing more, bursting into tears for no apparent reason is a common reaction when stress becomes unmanageable. Rather than pretending you’re OK, gently explain that while you are doing everything you can to make sure you and your family stay well, and to keep you all safe, you are struggling a little with the adjustment of lockdown. This is helpful as it explains why you reacted the way you did, and reassures your child that it is OK to struggle emotionally, and to express that struggle.
EASE THE PRESSURE
When you recognise that your actions have fallen short of your usual parenting standards, apologise. This teaches your kids to take responsibility for their own shortcomings. If certain things are emotionally triggering for you, such as getting your teens motivated to do their school work, go easy on yourself. Deciding you need to be a perfect teacher now will leave you feeling like a perpetual failure, so just do your best and know that they will catch up on their school work.
ASK FOR A HUG
With your other half, agree to park any negativity you have with one another until lockdown is over, and make a commitment to ask for a hug when you feel tensions growing. This will release oxytocin, the hormone that helps to combat stress – plus your children will witness two loving adults supporting one another. When you find yourself secretly worrying, tell yourself “this will pass and life will return to how it was before facemasks and fear”. You’ve got this.