Nicole Scherzinger “Some relationships just aren’t meant to be”
She’s the lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls and is now loved-up with hunky ex-rugby player Thom Evans – but Nicole Scherzinger, 41, has faced her fair share of personal traumas, from heartbreak to battling bulimia and body insecurities. Here’s what she’s learned…
EMBRACE YOUR FLAWS
“There can be so much pressure on women and girls, in particular, to look a certain way. When I was younger, I was quite insecure. I would spend so much time comparing myself to other people and picking myself apart in the mirror. That’s when problems occur. I suffered from bulimia after I joined The Pussycat Dolls. As I’ve got older, though, I’ve realised that nobody’s perfect and I’ve learned to just embrace my flaws and love who I am and the way I look.”
LEARN FROM YOUR STRUGGLES
“The bottom line is, no matter who you are, you’re going to go through a lot of pain and struggles in life. But there is purpose in that pain and there’s a bigger plan. When you go through those challenges, they will help prepare you and protect you from everything else that is thrown at you. Even if you feel like you don’t fit in, it’s because you’re not meant to fit in – you’re meant to stand out. Don’t let anyone get in the way of who you are and who you were created to be.”
DON’T WASTE YOUR LIFE
“Bulimia is such a horrible, paralysing disease. Going through it was such a dark time for me. Then one day, I just woke up and felt like I’d reached the end of being sick, and said, ‘I’m not doing this any more’. Now, I can reflect on it, and it’s sad to see how I wasted my life. I had such a great life on the outside – The Dolls were on top of the world – but I was miserable on the inside. I’m never letting that happen again. You only get one life.”
BE PREPARED TO MAKE SACRIFICES
“Anybody who is successful in what they do is making sacrifices elsewhere. It’s about juggling life and I would say it generally gets harder to find a balance the older you get. Timing is everything, though, and when things become aligned it will be easier. There’s always a sacrifice to be made with your career, but it’s either worth it or not. I’ve got a busy career but I’ve also got a great support system around me – a small, select, group of friends. I don’t have quantity, that’s for sure – I have quality.”
DON’T COMPROMISE YOURSELF FOR ANYONE
“I was in a relationship [with Formula 1 racing champion Lewis Hamilton, 35, from 2007 to 2014] for almost seven years. I don’t like to fail at things, so I was like, ‘I will make this work somehow!’ But there are times when we don’t realise that some things just aren’t meant to be. When we start to lose ourselves and compromise who we are and our worth, that’s when we really need to re-evaluate things. We need to draw that line and make those boundaries.”
LEAVE AN ELEMENT OF MYSTERY
“I think there’s something to be said for leaving a little bit to other people’s imagination. I’m a massive fan of all the cool kids out there who flaunt themselves [on Instagram], so I’m not going to judge them. I just know, for myself, I like to try to be a little bit more... I don’t want to say demure because then I sound like a prude – maybe, classy?”
VOICE YOUR PROBLEMS
“It’s true that it’s good to talk. I’ve had psychiatrists, life coaches, my pastor – a lot of different therapy in the past. It feels weird and invasive at first, but it’s good to get your thoughts out and your boxes in line and become aware of your patterns and bad habits. Once you’re aware, then you can grow and move forward and not make the same mistakes as before.”
YOU CAN HAVE A FAMILY ANY TIME
“I don’t have children and I get asked when I’m having them, but I’ve never been one to say ‘I’m going to do this’ by a certain time. I’m very spiritual so, to me, everything happens in God’s time. I still have a lot of stuff I want to do musically and creatively – but in the right time, I will have a family. I come from a huge family [with several half and step-siblings], but is there a time frame? No, because you never know how things are mapped out for you. That’s not how life works.”
GROW OLD GRACEFULLY
“I never worry about ageing, although it does seem a little scary when the numbers start to change on each birthday! But what are you going to do about it? It happens to us all. All you can do is grow older gracefully and know it doesn’t take anything away from the child in you. It’s about how you react and how you accept things.”
‘Don’t let anyone get in the way of who you are’