Home alone? You can still find love!
From online movie nights to steamy video sex, the global pandemic hasn’t stopped us searching for The One…
❛ TO FORGE A RELATIONSHIP NOW, YOU MUST BE PREPARED TO PUT IN THE EFFORT ❜
If navigating the dating scene wasn’t complicated enough already, now hopeful singletons have got a global pandemic to contend with.
Gone are the days of locking eyes across a room or messaging online before that all-important first date at the pub. Now, the only way to date someone is to do so virtually – with no idea when you’ll actually meet them face to face.
With everyone stuck at home, dating app usage has spiked. Tinder revealed it had a record three-billion swipes in just one weekend in April, and the app has seen a 20 per cent increase in conversations during lockdown.
Meanwhile, Bumble has seen a 35 per cent increase in messages sent, and Hinge has launched an in-app video calling feature .
CHEMISTRY
Using an app to find Mr Right is nothing new, but relationship expert Helen Scott says maintaining a relationship in this format for longer during lockdown is a tough ask.
She says, “In normal circumstances, you’d exchange messages for a few days before meeting in person. Now, that’s not possible, so video dating is the next best thing.
“To forge a relationship in lockdown, you need to be prepared to put in the effort.
There’s nothing like meeting in person to know whether you have that spark. So, regular – and long – video chats are important to make sure you have chemistry.
“But isolation dating does have its advantages. When you video date, you’re in your own home, so you’re likely to feel more relaxed and have less of a barrier up. And for most of us, work and other social commitments have significantly reduced, which means we have time to really get to know a potential partner.
“I think we could end up with a lot of lockdown love stories, and hopefully it will teach us to give a little more time to people we’re interested in.”
Almara Abgarian, 30, had decided to take a break from romance, but that changed when the pandemic struck.
The journalist’s last serious relationship was a few years ago, barring brief flings that lasted just a few weeks or months.
Almara, who lives in London, says, “During the first week of lockdown, I was doing research for an article on dating apps when I came across Matt* on Hinge.
“Physically, he was my usual type: buff and bearded. Flirty banter ensued, but with conversations fizzling out quickly in the past – either because they lost interest or
I did – I didn’t think it would go beyond those first few messages.”
But Almara and Matt, 29, texted for a few days before setting up a FaceTime date.
She says, “It was a little awkward for 20 minutes or so, but after a few drinks the conversation flowed. In fact, we were reluctant to hang up, even after five hours of talking. Because we didn’t have the physical element of dating to distract us – it’s not like we’d end up snogging – we shared more about ourselves.
“We talked about everything – from the serious, such as past relationships, to the silly, like his obsession with Disney films. Matt was kind and attentive, I felt like I’d known him for years.”
SPICING THINGS UP
On their second date, the pair had video sex. Almara explains, “It wasn’t planned, it just happened, but I’ve dated men who lived far away prior to this, so video sex was nothing new to me – it felt like a natural development. And by then, I trusted Matt and felt comfortable with him.
“In the weeks following, I tried to find new ways to spice things up, like letting Matt choose which sex toy we’d play with. Meanwhile, he sent over snaps of himself in the shower and told me about his fantasies.
“But while a lot of our virtual dates were sexual, many of them weren’t – we watched movies together, played games on Houseparty, and did quizzes. I sent him photos of my mum’s lockdown gardening project and he sent me photos of his dog.”
But Almara admits she worried their relationship was too good to be true. She says, “My friends were really supportive, but I was wary.
You never know if virtual love will translate into the real world.”
Despite her concerns, the pair had planned to meet up – but then the lockdown was extended for a further three weeks. Almara explains, “We were both conscious of not getting too invested when we had no idea when we’d actually get to meet. So, we’ve decided to cool things off a little, but we still plan to check back in once all this is over. I guess I’ll find out if it’s possible to find love in lockdown when I meet Matt face to face. But either way, he’s made these strange times a little more bearable.”
Turn to p58 for our tips on hosting your own DIY date night