Kym’s life lessons: “There’s no fairytale – love’s hard work”
From singer to actress and now presenter, Kym Marsh’s latest role sees her hosting a new BBC consumer affairs show. The 44-year-old reveals how she’s triumphed by reinventing herself, overcoming heartache and having no regrets
LIFE’S TOO SHORT TO HOLD GRUDGES
“Tensions built in the band [reality TV ’90s pop group Hear’Say] and I felt like I was the odd one out. I wish we’d been able to explain how we were feeling, but the problems festered [she fell out with Myleene Klass]. We’ve both grown up now we have children of our own. Life is too short to hold grudges and what happened back then isn’t anyone’s fault.”
NEVER REGRET YOUR MISTAKES
“I don’t believe in regrets. When you do things, they’re right at that time for you, and it can always teach you something about yourself. You can take away something from any mistake that you made in life, so it’s not been in vain. Everything I’ve been through has given me an extra bone in my back.”
TAKE YOUR TIME WITH LOVE
“In the past, I’ve made the mistake of rushing into relationships [Kym was married to actors Jack Ryder and Jamie Lomas, and engaged to personal trainer Dan Hooper] but I’ve learned my lesson. I’m a huge romantic but I’ve been unlucky in love. There is no fairy tale. Love’s hard. It’s hard work. No one tells you that.”
LOVE YOUR STRETCH MARKS!
“I’ve been too thin at times, due to stress. After I lost Archie [her son, who died shortly after he was born in 2009], I wasn’t eating and couldn’t exercise as I was ill. I went down to a size 6 and lost fat from my face, which made me look older. I’ll never think I’m perfect, but I’m happy with who I am. I used to hate my stretch marks, but I love them now.”
TALKING HAS BEEN MY THERAPY
“I didn’t have counselling [after losing] Archie. I probably should have – it might have helped me move forward a bit quicker. But I talk to everybody, and that has been my therapy. I decided not to make it something I shouldn’t speak about. For me, the best thing I did was start talking.”
REINVENTION
IS KEY
“I think the key for me has been continuous reinvention – one fifth of Hear’Say, to solo artist, to being in the West End, to being an actress, to presenting – it’s given me 19 years so far. I think some people think it’s just going to fall into their lap, but you’ve got to work so hard.”
LONG DISTANCE LOVE IS TOUGH
“It’s amazing to see how our relationship [Kym has been dating army major Scott Ratcliff since July 2018] has grown despite the distance. Him being away is hard. But I think you support each other through having a shared experience where you’re apart and missing each other. It is tough, but I know we can make it work.”
HAVING KIDS YOUNG MADE ME WHO I AM
“Being a young mum [she shares Polly, eight, with Jamie, and David, 25, and Emilie, 23 – who has one-year-old son Teddy – with Dave Cunliffe] seems to be a pattern in my family. My mum was 18 when she had my brother, my sister was 18 when she fell pregnant and so was I. I hadn’t planned it, but that’s life.
It’s how you react to things that counts. I don’t regret having my children young, but also I wouldn’t say, ‘Have kids at 18’. It’s hard work, but it made me who I am. I firmly believe
I’m a better human being for having had my children when I did.”
PARENTING IS DIFFICULT ON YOUR OWN
“It’s a balancing act with work, kids, and trying to have your own life, and it is difficult when you’re on your own. I couldn’t have done it without my family network. It is easier as the kids get older, as you have less to do in terms of getting them ready, although I still cook for them all. Emilie and David have been a massive help with Polly, but, over the years, it’s been hard.”
GRIEF ISN’T SOMETHING YOU GET OVER
“I wish for so many moments I can’t have. I think that anyone who has lost a child will feel the same way. It’s not something you heal from. It’s not something that you just get over. You don’t sit there and suddenly realise that you’re over that now. It will be with you forever, every day. It’s how you choose to move on from that – it’s about learning to accept what has happened.”
● Kym Marsh and Matt Allwright present new BBC One consumer affairs show, Your Money And Your Life, airing weekdays at 10am from Monday 15 June
‘It’s how you react to things that
counts’