GET YOUR SEX LIFE BACK ON TRACK

Many couples lost their spark during lockdown, and lots worry how to get it back – Emma advises rebuilding closeness

Firstly, if you don’t have the emotional capacity to handle intimacy right now, don’t beat yourself up. The most important way to get back on track is to communicate what you are both feeling. Make a nice meal, put on some relaxing music and discuss what is and isn’t working. Like any routine, when life gets in the way, you can lose your rhythm, so agree a realistic amount of time to devote to one another weekly.

We all know what turns us on, but often don’t communicate this to our partners because we feel embarrassed, or even ashamed. When you ask for your needs to be met, your partner can fulfil you. That increases your relationship satisfaction, so you automatically have sex more often. It may be that your needs have changed, and you now desire a different style of sex. Perhaps more sensual and romantic sex, or the reverse – so communicate that. If you find that difficult, both of you should write down five things you would like to try, from positions to fantasies, and put them in a jar. Every week, take turns to select one and plan how to play it out.

Intimacy doesn’t have to involve intercourse, so removing this pressure can help. Invest in essential oils, light candles and try nonintimate massage. Sometimes a lack of libido can be down to a medical or mental health issue, so if you’re anxious or concerned, see your GP. Long-term, a lack of intimacy can cause relationship problems, so confront sexrelated worries, because you both deserve a fulfilling love life.