WHY YOU SHOULD TRY COUPLES’ THERAPY

Many people feel the pandemic has exposed major problems in their relationship. Emma says reaching out is key

Stress creeps into relationships gradually, and by the time you realise something is wrong, you may have built up some pretty big resentments. It is really important to repair the cracks before they cause irreparable damage. It can be hugely helpful to have some outside intervention, particularly if you are at a point where any discussions you have about your relationship dissolve into arguments and blame. Trauma can lead to us make rash decisions that we eventually regret. It makes us feel out of control, so we seek to have power over the things we can influence, and in relationships, this can lead to catastrophic choices. When you bring in a third party, like a mediator or a therapist, online or face-toface, you have a professional, objective set of ears to offer you a new and more realistic perspective. Find someone local at bacp.co.uk. I am completely biased, but have remained in my career because watching people work through their issues to a place of hope is as compelling to me today as it was 20 years ago. A key rule is to avoid making any life-changing decisions until at least 12 months after a period of trauma. That’s for good reason, because until your vision is clear, the likelihood is you will cause some unnecessary emotional injury to yourself and others if you act too rashly. Before throwing in the towel, explore speaking to a third party – you may find it is the best money you have ever spent.