Therapist Emma: “Lauren’s holding on to what she had with Mark – and probably always will”
As Lauren Goodger and Michelle Keegan spark a social media storm, psychological therapist Emma Kenny says that whether they like it or not, Lauren and Mark Wright will be linked forever
Her roller-coaster relationship with Mark Wright played out on our screens a decade ago, before their bitter split in 2011. And last week, old memories were brought to the surface when Lauren Goodger posted a throwback photo of her and ex-fiancé Mark to commemorate the ten-year anniversary of The Only Way Is Essex, the show that catapulted them both to fame.
The reality star, 33, posted a number of pictures from when she and Mark – now married to actress Michelle Keegan – were together, including the two of them cosying up on the BAFTAs red carpet in 2011 and other group shots with their co-stars. She wrote alongside them,
“I was 22 when I first started filming and what an amazing journey this has been!! I put my life on national television and we won a BAFTA – not a lot of people can say that! You’ve seen me laugh, cry, engaged, breakups and make-ups! I’ve grown up on the screens and it was all real! Congratulations to all the OGs.”
But fans were quick to comment on Lauren’s inclusion of the cosy photos with her ex-fiancé. While some praised the throwback, writing, “Ah what amazing memories”, others criticised the move, posting, “You really need to stop living in the past, you’re making yourself look silly”, and, “I love you Lauren, but you need to stop attaching yourself to Mark. It’s so disrespectful to Michelle!”
And just an hour later, Mark’s wife Michelle, 33, posted a sultry mirror selfie, looking glamorous in a crop-top as make-up artists prepared her for a photo shoot – which some fans speculated was in response to Lauren’s upload, with one writing, “Lol Michelle clearly posted this in retaliation to Lauren”.
TOXIC
Lauren began dating Mark, 33, when she was just 15 years old and the pair got engaged in 2011, with Mark proposing during an episode of TOWIE. But they broke up just five months later amid cheating allegations from both sides, and Mark married Michelle in 2015.
Since their split, they’ve become embroiled in a number of spats, both in public and behind closed doors. Lauren branded Mark “toxic” in interviews, and after she began speaking about their relationship on Celebrity Big Brother in 2014, Mark’s lawyers sent a legal letter attempting to stop
her from talking about him.
After Lauren posted some cryptic quotes on his wedding day in 2015, Mark hit out at her in a slew of Tweets while he was on his honeymoon. He pleaded that Lauren “respect” Michelle and stop bringing up their past relationship, adding “Enough is enough… I’m sure there are other ways to make money.”
Then, in 2017, it emerged that Michelle had “liked” a Tweet that read, “Oh my Lauren Goodger is going on Strictly Come Dancing! Noooooooooooo!!!”, before apparently “unliking” it.
And on Celebs Go Dating last summer, Lauren branded Mark’s marriage to Michelle “weird” and remarked how she noticed they “don’t talk to each other” when she’s seen them together.
While the war between the exes seems to have been dragged up again with the photos, Closer’s psychological therapist, Emma Kenny, says the throwback posts aren’t reflective of Lauren still pining for Mark and that there’s bound to still be intense emotions, given the seriousness of their relationship. Emma, who has interviewed and worked with Lauren several times, says, “Lauren and Mark were together for ten years – that’s a long time. They were a huge part of each other’s lives and were integral to each other’s rise to fame and kickstarting their careers. Whether or not Lauren was posting the pictures antagonistically, neither Mark nor Lauren can argue that they haven’t shaped who each other are today.”
Earlier this month, Lauren revealed she was undergoing therapy and has been open about various mental health issues in the past. On Celebs Go Dating last year, she revealed that she believed her fractured family life has led to a deep-rooted desire to be loved and difficulty in letting go of relationships. She said, “When I was four, my mum gave me to my dad but kept my older brother and sister… For me, that was heartbreaking.
I’ve been rejected [as a child]. That’s why I stay in these long relationships when I shouldn’t, and however much they put me through, I still stay there for a long time.”
Emma believes that the serious relationship with Mark and being welcomed into his close-knit family – who have also starred on TOWIE – will have made the relationship all the more poignant for her.
She says, “Lauren began dating Mark when she was a teenager – which is when we learn to establish ourselves and our confidence. So while it’s long over now, whether they like it or not, the two were a big part of each other’s lives.
UPSET
“From speaking to Lauren over the years, it’s clear she has deep attachment and abandonment issues, stemming from her family life. When they were together, Mark’s family welcomed her in, which would have been something she’d craved from her own family. Breaking up from Mark wasn’t just a split, but losing a safe space. So it isn’t surprising that she may still have strong emotions over what happened and the memories, and I think part of her holds on to that and probably always will.”
Emma also adds that – whether or not Lauren’s post and rehashing of the past was intentional – it would be completely natural for Michelle to feel upset over Lauren’s post.
She says, “If your partner’s ex is a presence in your life in one way or another, it can be hard and bring up feelings of insecurity, jealousy or anger, so it wouldn’t be surprising for Michelle to feel that way. However, when in that situation, what you must remind yourself is that everyone has had past relationships and they have no impact on the current situation. Michelle is Mark’s present and future, whereas Lauren is his past, and he wouldn’t be the man he is today without that relationship with Lauren. For anyone in that situation, it’s best to talk through your feelings with your partner and re-establish the fact that a past romance has no bearing on your current relationship.”
BREAKING UP FROM HIM WASN’T JUST A SPLIT – IT WAS LOSING A SAFE SPACE