24-year-old surrogate: “I’m addicted to pregnancy – but I don’t like babies!”
After having two children, Ashleigh Wayte knew she didn’t want any more of her own, but came up with the perfect solution to experience the highs of being pregnant again…
Ashleigh Wayte loves everything about being pregnant – from the growing bump to feeling the baby kicking inside her.
But she freely admits, after having two babies – Lily, now seven, and Oscar, five – that she doesn’t like the “baby stage” and never wants to have another child of her own.
Instead, to satisfy her craving to be pregnant again, she has become one of Britain’s youngest surrogate mothers to triplets – falling pregnant with them aged 24 and giving birth when she’d just turned
25. And, incredibly, she can’t wait to do it all again!
ENERGY
Single mum Ashleigh, who lives in Bury and works as a healthcare assistant, admits, “As soon as I had both my children, I really missed being pregnant. I’d never felt better. I didn’t suffer with morning sickness and had so much energy.
“But once they were here, I struggled. I was absolutely exhausted. Although I love my children very much and would do anything for them,
I’m not particularly maternal and definitely don’t want any more of my own.
“But I was desperate to be pregnant again and to feel how I did then – without the aftermath of the sleepless nights once the baby arrived.”
Ashleigh first considered being a surrogate shortly after giving birth to Oscar. But she didn’t know how to go about it until he was two years old, when she saw a woman from British surrogacy agency Nappy Endings being interviewed on television.
Ashleigh explains, “I contacted the agency and was quickly put in touch with a lovely couple who had been trying for ten years to have a baby.
“I decided I wanted to be a host surrogate – where you don’t use your own eggs but an IVF embryo is implanted. I think I would find it much harder to give up a child that was biologically half mine.
“I told the children’s dad out of courtesy and he said it was totally my decision.
“I had to take hormone drugs to stop my own cycle and to prepare my womb – fortunately I suffered absolutely no side effects. My family and friends thought it was so lovely that I was doing it, and were really supportive.
“But, sadly, it didn’t work and I was devastated. I felt like I’d let the couple down, especially as it was their last embryo.”
However, it didn’t stop Ashleigh wanting to try again, and she matched with another couple last year. They’d always wanted a baby but, because of medical issues, couldn’t carry their own. Before committing, the couple went for dinner with Ashleigh a few times to check they felt comfortable doing surrogacy together.
She says, “From the moment we met, I felt a connection with them and knew I wanted to go ahead. We signed an agreement setting out the terms – for example, we covered what we’d do if the baby had an abnormality.
“As a surrogate, you’re not paid, except for expenses – like covering my wages if I couldn’t work due to the pregnancy, and paying for travel to hospital appointments. The amount is usually around £15,000.”
TRIPLETS
Their first cycle didn’t work, but in January this year she had a further two embryos implanted. One of the embryos split, meaning she was pregnant with triplets.
Ashleigh admits, “When I found out at eight weeks pregnant, I was in complete shock. We were all worried – both for my health, as it’s such a high-risk pregnancy, and for the babies. Doctors offered a selective reduction, but none of us wanted that.”
The first weeks of the
pregnancy went smoothly, but at 20 weeks, Ashleigh’s waters broke, and doctors told her it was 50/50 that the babies would survive.
She says, “It was an incredibly worrying time. I was in hospital for two days, on antibiotics for a further ten days, and then
I was confined to my bed to prevent me from going into labour. I felt a huge sense of responsibility for their parents.
INTENSIVE CARE
“I had explained to my children that I had a friend with a poorly tummy who couldn’t have babies, so I was having them for her. Oscar didn’t really understand, but Lily was lovely, and used to rub moisturiser into my bump for me.”
At 32 weeks, Ashleigh went into labour and needed a C-section, as giving birth to triplets naturally is usually considered too dangerous, because their heartbeats can’t all be monitored.
She says, “Only their mum was allowed in with me because of COVID-19. Their dad was outside in the car park and she called him as soon as they were born. They had to be taken to intensive care, but luckily, they were all fine, just very small, at around 3lbs each, and they needed monitoring.”
PROUD
Ashleigh went to see them shortly after they were born.
She says, “I’d have liked to have given them a cuddle, but they were in incubators. I felt no bond at all, though – they had never felt like mine even when they were growing inside me.
“Seeing the joy on their parents’ faces was the best feeling imaginable. I was so proud and pleased that I’d been able to give them a family. And I was happy to hand the babies over so they could deal with the hard bit and I didn’t have to think about taking them home!”
Ashleigh is still in regular contact with their parents – though she hasn’t seen them again due to concerns over coronavirus, as they are still very vulnerable.
She says, “I get regular pictures and they are adorable.”
Now, Ashleigh is just looking forward to doing it again for another couple.
She says, “It’s fair to say that their family is complete! But I know there will be other couples out there who desperately want children, and I want to help them.
“Despite it not being the easiest of pregnancies, I still loved every minute.
“I have to let my body heal, but once it has, then I can’t wait to do it all again. People have said I’m a bit too young to be a surrogate, but I think that’s what makes me the perfect one! I’ve got many more years ahead of me to pop out more babies for other couples, and I can’t wait.”
I WAS HAPPY TO HAND THE BABIES OVER SO THEIR PARENTS COULD DEAL WITH THE HARD BIT