The terrifying truth about online bullying
Each year, the rise in online trolling gets worse, and during the first lockdown it increased by 70%. Ahead of anti-bullying week, Closer speaks to two mums whose children have been affected…
❛ WHEN HIDING BEHIND A SCREEN, ANYONE CAN TURN NASTY ❜
When Emma Wilcock looked at her daughter’s phone to check her social media accounts last December, she was horrified by what she saw. Her nine-year-old daughter, Eva, had reams of messages calling her ugly and stupid.
Emma, 40, a dinner lady, says, “I couldn’t believe what I was reading. She’d only been on social media for a few weeks and I had been so careful to make sure that the privacy settings were tight so she could only chat to her friends – but it was her ‘friends’ who were the ones doing the bullying. I was horrified. I’ve read about online bullying being on the rise – but Eva was so young, I didn’t think it would happen to her. I can’t believe how wrong I was.”
COUNSELLING
The number of children having counselling for cyberbullying has more than doubled in five years.
Alex Gray, Childline Service Manager, tells Closer, “Every year, thousands of children contact Childline about their experiences of cyberbullying and tell us it can feel impossible to escape. Sadly, lockdown has exacerbated these feelings for many young people and, from April to September, our trained counsellors held 1,474 counselling sessions with young people about online bullying.”
Emma first noticed something was wrong with her daughter at the end of last year.
She says, “Eva wasn’t her usual bubbly self and I put it down to the fact we were due to move house and she was worried. My husband Shane, 40, had already moved to
Whitby from our home in Lincolnshire to start his new job in engineering, and me, Eva and my other daughter, Mya, seven, were due to follow a few months later. I just thought she missed him.
“But she seemed so down, I asked her teachers to keep an eye on her and they admitted her school work was slipping.
“Eva had asked to have social media so she could contact her dad whenever she wanted, so I agreed to Facebook Messenger and said she could add some friends. She also regularly used a computer game which had a private messaging function – and as she loved dancing, I allowed her to download TikTok. I was very careful with the privacy settings and would check she hadn’t accepted requests from strangers.
“But a few weeks later, Eva was upset, and Mya told me it was because her friends had laughed at a video she’d posted of herself dancing.
I gave her a hug and we deleted the people who’d been unkind, and I thought it was over.
“But this January, she seemed really down again. She would burst into tears over the smallest things and was very jumpy. Shane checked her phone – and that’s when we found the vile messages. A few told her she was so ugly she should sue her parents and kill us. She was also branded a ‘retard’. etard’. The messages were all from girls in her class, but Eva didn’t want to get them into trouble.
“But she was so anxious we took her to the doctors and they suggested antidepressants. We were so shocked and decided against them as we felt she was too young to be relying on medication.
DENTED CONFIDENCE
“It was devastating for all of us. We went to the school and they agreed to look into the messages and speak to the girls who’d sent them. But, luckily, just before lockdown in March, we finally moved house.
“The bullying had really dented Eva’s confidence, though – she couldn’t get over the fact that her friends could do that to her and she was worried about meeting the girls at her new school.
“Fortunately though, it’s been going really well so far and she’s happy. I feel really guilty that I didn’t realise what was going on earlier, though.
When I allowed her to go on social media I was worried about strangers and made her promise not to add anyone she didn’t know. I didn’t imagine the threat was from her so-called friends. They all seemed like such nice girls, it just shows that when hiding behind a screen, anyone can turn nasty.
“Now I just want to raise awareness that kids of any age can suffer from cyberbullying. The quicker parents are able to spot it, the less of a problem it’ll become.”
● For help and advice, visit Ditchthelabel.org and Nspcc.org.uk