‘Sticking to routine helps me manage’
TV star and model Nicola McLean has revealed that the buildup to the third lockdown drove her anxiety disorder to breaking point. The star – who has sons Rocky, 14, and Striker, 10, with footballer husband Tom Williams, 40 – describes herself as a “lifelong bulimic” and suffers with ongoing anxiety. Nicola says she found it particularly hard to cope with the tougher restrictions imposed in December.
CONSTANT BATTLE
“I really struggle with change, so I find going in and out of lockdown really hard,” says Nicola, 39. “The changing rules about seeing family before Christmas just set off my anxiety and OCD – I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. I started getting extreme anxiety again, which I haven’t had for a long time.
“After Christmas, it became unbearable, and rather than just deleting and blocking trolls on social media as usual, I ended up having a full-on panic attack after one particularly nasty attack. It was hellish. I couldn’t stop shaking and was crying uncontrollably. I’m not blaming that one troll, but I felt like everything was getting on top of me. This is hard for everyone, but with my anxiety, eating disorders and OCD, it makes it so much harder to process and deal with.
“I phoned my doctor and said, ‘I’m not coping’. It was just a constant battle from the second I opened my eyes.”
TURNING A CORNER
Nicola was prescribed antianxiety medication and now feels she’s turned a corner in managing her mental health, although she keeps herself in check daily with her own coping mechanisms.
“If my anxiety is really bad, or I’m feeling vulnerable, I stay off social media and only watch fun things on TV. If I’m having a bad day, I find playing with my Chihuahua dog Jasper really helps me to relax, or I’ll play games with the kids.
“I also like to keep to some sort of routine to manage my anxiety and I meditate sometimes – I’ll lie in a dark room and put on some ‘wave’ music, which can help. I can already feel that my anxiety is so much better, so I’m glad that I did visit my doctor. I don’t let my anxiety hold me back, though. There’s nothing that I can’t do; it’s just a case of telling my head that.”