Jessica: “My ex’s suicide made me step up as a mum”
A victim of childhood abuse, Jessica Cunningham went on to suffer the tragic suicide of her daughters’ father and a heartbreaking miscarriage. But today, The Apprentice and Celebrity Big Brother star is relaxed and happy. She shares her darkest days, and how she came out the other side
Her glass is always half full, and when Closer catches up with reality TV star-turned-business coach Jessica Cunningham, her energy and excitement are infectious. It’s certainly not what most would expect from someone who’s pregnant with her fifth child and juggling an exhaustive schedule of morning sickness, homeschooling, breastfeeding, and two six-figure businesses.
Her painfully early 5am wake-up calls may have helped boost her productivity and given her a head-start on her epic washing loads, but her can-do attitude is down to a lifetime of overcoming tragedy and restarting her life.
SPIRITUALITY
Aged just five, Jessica became the victim of childhood abuse by a family friend at sleepover parties. Years later, in 2014, her ex-partner Alistair Eccles, the father of her three young daughters – Poppy, nine, Olive, seven, and Hattie, six – tragically died by suicide, aged just 35.
A miscarriage with her current partner, Alex Daw, followed just two months later.
But, amazingly, the former reality TV star retains her motto that “Everything happens for a reason”.
“Spirituality has really helped me,” says Jess. “The things that happened to me when I was younger made me become the person I am, and the loss of my ex-partner made me step up as a mum. The same way having a miscarriage made me appreciate when my little boy [Digby, now two] was born, and truly how amazing it is to grow a baby. We have to ask ourselves, ‘How can we grow and learn from this?’
It’s little wonder that Jessica, 33, is hailed as one of life’s comeback queens, but the expectant mum isn’t superhuman, and she’s open about her struggles with anxiety, frightening flashbacks and her battles with self-worth.
She adds, “I’ve really suffered with anxiety. Two weeks before I went into
The Apprentice, the memories of my abuse came back. I almost didn’t go in to do the television show, but I pushed the memories away to deal with later. Then I was thrown into Big Brother and I completely lost myself; I became a show pony on auto pilot.
“When Alistair died I just thought, ‘I really need to sort everything out’.”
Jessica also suffered from serious health anxiety after Alistair’s death, and reveals how she was terrified of dying herself, or losing her daughters or her loved ones.
“I think when someone dies, you go into a state of shock, but on top of that, I knew I was their only biological parent. That’s when I started looking into different therapies,” she says.
CHANGING HABITS
Jessica also says that buying and eating only organic food and exercising in the mornings helps with her mental health.
“It takes a while to change your habits, but once you realise that roasting vegetables is just as quick as fast freezer food, it becomes a winner when you have four children!” she laughs.
Her exercise regime consists of light weights and resistance exercises like
push-ups. She’s keen to work up a sweat but now into her second trimester, the fitness fanatic happily admits to prioritising rest when she can.
She says, “I’ve got baby brain, child brain, breastfeeding brain… By 7pm I’m done! Digby is still breastfeeding and I’ve been trying to wean him, but he keeps shouting, ‘Mummy! No! More booby!’ My boobs are sore and I hate feeling tired. I turn into an angry dragon and my hormones are making me cry all of the time!”
After trying talking therapy, Jessica soon realised that she was suffering from
PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and felt “re-traumatised” every time she spoke about her abuse or Alistair’s death, so she took matters into her own hands, training in several different therapies – including NLP (neurolinguistic-programming) , EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Reiki.
“One day, it just felt like the fog had lifted. I used to be angry all of the time, and now I just feel so much more relaxed,” she says.
‘I lost myself… I became a show pony on auto pilot’