KNOW THE SIGNS OF DEPRESSION

The government’s roadmap out of lockdown should give us all hope, but it’s still been a hard path – with more people than ever suffering mentally. Dr C advises how to help yourself and others…

Arguably, all depression is caused by loss. I don’t just mean loss in terms of bereavement; I mean the loss of anything you’re used to, and we’ve all lost so much in the last year. This lockdown is also making us all more aware of our emotions and our needs, which is important. We’re learning what we need to feel good.

NOTICE IF YOU ARE LACKING ENTHUSIASM

One of the really horrible things about depression is that you stop thinking about and caring for yourself. There’s all this advice to be aware of depression, and while suffering from the condition doesn’t make you unaware, it stops you bothering to look or care. It isn’t abnormal to feel low at the moment – but depression would be a persistent feeling of being low and an inability to feel pleasure in things that normally make you happy. When you’re not functioning how you normally would, you’re not finding the impetus to do the things you’d normally do – that’s enough to merit asking for help, or looking into doing something to help yourself. People often wonder when they should seek help – it’s simply when you feel you need it. The risk with waiting is that if you leave it too long you may not even feel you’re worthy of help. That’s a more extreme example, but it’s part of depression. You become less likely to pick up the phone the longer you leave it.

LOOK AT ROUTINES

Is your routine going out the window? Are you going to bed later and later, or constantly hitting the snooze button?

Are you leaving long gaps between showers? These can be early signs of depression, too. Self-sabotage is another, so not paying a bill, even though you can afford to, or eating endless junk food, even though you know you feel rubbish afterwards. If you’re doing things you know aren’t good for you, but you can’t help yourself, it’s a worry. A way to break out of that is to set yourself small goals to do a few things that help, whether that’s getting outside for a walk or calling a friend.

Tell a trusted friend that you’re struggling. You are not alone, and starting that conversation is a really important first step. And for people who aren’t struggling, the simple action of reaching out to someone who might be, could be the most important thing you ever do.

CHECK IN ON PEOPLE

Asking if they are OK, really meaning it, and listening to them gives that person permission to talk about something that they may feel they can’t admit to. Rather than offering solutions, just listen and be encouraging. Instead of saying, ‘I read that exercise cures depression’, say, ‘I’m going for a walk, would you like to come?’ Keep asking, even if you always get a no, because one day they might be ready. When I’m really down, I stop all communication. I don’t answer the phone, texts or emails, but I do read them and the nice ones are really important. Even when all your calls aren’t answered, don’t give up on that person, because they are being seen, but they aren’t quite ready.

ENLIST OTHERS

If you feel that you’ve taken on too much and are the only support for someone, encourage other close friends to reach out as well. Explain this person you all love is having a tough spell, and suggest they drop them a message or a call. Form a supportive circle. Sometimes people can react against that, but as long as you’re careful about who you speak to and you’re sensitive, it can help.

PUT PEN TO PAPER

Another lovely thing you can do for somebody who is struggling is to write them a card, particularly to an older person. Depression is incredibly isolating because you stop talking to people, so they gradually move away from you because you never respond. A card landing on the doormat on a bad week can make a huge difference. Lockdown has driven us towards a lot of

the more toxic things for our mental health – we’re doing less so we’re on screens a lot more, comparing ourselves on social media, not being happy about how we look on Zoom, eating more rubbish and drinking more. All of those things are a perfect storm for lowering your mood, so be aware of that. Try to cut down and have some mindfulness around your behaviours.

FIND RESOURCES

There’s a lot you can do to help yourself, which is important because people are put off seeking help because they don’t want to have therapy, as they worry it’s too time-consuming or waiting lists are too long. There’s now online therapy, apps, podcasts and the BBC just launched Headroom, which is full of advice, but you can also talk to your GP. Doctors are very aware of this increase in mood disorders and they know what to do. There’s a lot of effort going into things like computerised CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) with programmes like Beatingtheblues.co.uk.

BE THE REASON SOMEONE IMPROVES

Other people get very affected by your depression – you stop calling your parents so they worry, partners get pushed away, so they feel upset. Sometimes that aspect is enough to encourage you to get help, and it’s why supporting people is so crucial. If you’re that partner, parent or loved one, ask if they want to come for a walk, make nice nourishing meals but don’t do absolutely everything for them.

TAKE THE FIRST STEP

Referrals to mental health services are at less than a quarter of what we would expect, but if you keep staying away, you may feel worse, so get support. Once you do, you’ll wonder why you waited, and you’ll start learning strategies, building a little toolkit so you’re ready if you notice these feelings coming back. You can become an expert on your own depression – you’ll know the signs to be aware of and what does and doesn’t work. That’s empowering and genuinely life-changing. If you need help, please start getting it today.