TEACH BOYS TO BE ALLIES TO GIRLS

The terrible death of Sarah Everard has seen people calling for us to ‘educate our sons’, Emma explains how to do that

We need to do all we can to raise our boys respecting women. Toy weapons are routinely handed to boys, suggesting that being violent is part of being male. My kids had lightsabers and catapults, but also dolls and books about kindness. There is a systemic acceptance of wolf-whistling, and objectifying women and, with free porn online depicting women enjoying hostile sexual activities, we need to help boys treat women respectfully and recognise how they can support them. When my boys got to their teens and started going to parties, I ensured they understood about female safety and consent; that if you saw a girl who was very drunk, or in trouble, or in a state where she isn’t understanding her actions, they should check she is OK, and to help her arrange a way to get home safely. Explain inequalities by showing them how few women are in powerful positions, but also show them examples of women who have changed the world, from Emmeline Pankhurst to Malala Yousafzai, so they see female strength. Model equality in your own relationships, call out bad behaviour when you see it, and point out when a female character is treated badly on TV or YouTube. As teens, explain that while it isn’t fair, the streets are less safe for girls, so when they are all hanging out, they should ensure the girls get home safely. Also, help them with pro-social behaviours such as making an effort to help a girl or woman who looks afraid, or is being harassed, even if that means calling 999.