MANAGE ENVY IF OTHERS ARE UNAFFECTED BY COVID

Many have had the painful experience of seeing their friends prosper during the pandemic, moving to a nicer area or starting a family, while they’ve struggled. Emma explains how to cope

Some people have found themselves better off during the pandemic, thanks to ditching their commute and reducing travel expenses. A few of your friends may have relocated to the countryside, or even overseas now that work no longer requires an office. Others may be excitedly planning, or be partway through, a pregnancy. However, there will be people who have been made redundant and in the worst possible scenario, lost their loved ones.

AVOID RESENTMENT

Even if your life has stayed pretty much the same, you may still be envious of those who have thrived. Seeing others having a great time while you are facing uncertainty or feeling like your life is out of your hands is completely human. Rather than feeling anxious, try to focus on what needs to change about your life. Life isn’t fair or equal, but if you focus on the things that you have no control over, such as a friends moving, or a colleague getting the job of your dreams, you’ll end up feeling helpless and resentful.

TUNE IN TO GOALS

No matter how far you feel from the life you want, that isn’t an excuse to avoid planning for it. Create a vision board, or journal about exactly how you want your future to pan out. Prioritise the areas that concern you most, such as your job, then plan a timeline for when you want to have achieved the changes you desire. Break these goals down into achievable milestones, such as sending letters of interest to prospective employers, or taking a course. The moment you start to plan, you will begin to feel better. If you realise that seeing your friend pregnant has awoken something within you, don’t feel jealous; feel excited that you now realise you want a family, because even if you are single, this doesn’t exclude you from having kids. If your pal has relocated to the seaside, reframe this positively by considering all the cheap mini breaks you can have.

FEEL MOTIVATED

You have been restricted for a year, so of course you feel stuck. Instead of concentrating on what you haven’t achieved, or on what have lost, shift focus to what you will achieve and turn the envy into motivation to follow your dreams.