WOULD LIKE TO MEET...

Closer’s dating expert, Rebecca Twomey, on the single life realities as we start to emerge out of lockdown – and why there’s no need to rush things

Ithought I’d feel elation as the country started to open up again this month and us singles could get back onto the dating scene. But why then do I feel apprehensive about going on dates again – especially when the options have multiplied tenfold and I don’t have to go on yet another socially-distanced coffee and walk (where I always have to leave early to use the loo)?

I’m no psychologist, but I’m not sure it takes one to appreciate what we’ve all been through during lockdown. My emotional resilience has been used up on surviving those lonely spells of being single and living alone – not helped by the fact that I moved to a new city just before the pandemic.

Also, I’m not sure how I feel about being around lots of people in beer gardens and restaurant terraces – I’ve only had myself for company for so long, I feel drained when I’m

around people now. I’m not throwing a pity party, but it’s OK to appreciate how dating may actually be low on your agenda. I’m unsure how to act around my friends at the moment, let alone a stranger on a date.

Just because I can go on dates again now, it doesn’t mean I have to. I’d still love to meet a partner, but we’ve all been through so much is there the need to add the stress of dating to it? Of course, if you’re ready for romancing, then go for it and have fun!

But be mindful to take things slowly, and remind yourself that everyone has different agendas – for example, some people may have been celibate for longer than they’d like, so may be out for hook-ups and flings. If you’re feeling how

I am, be gentle with yourself, meet up with friends first, then gradually ease yourself back into being sociable. Chat to people on apps or, if you feel like it, have a call or exchange voice notes. My advice is, as always, to think of yourself first. Get back to the best version of you and then you’ll be ready to attract the people you deserve.