Closer (UK)

HOW TO ADAPT TO POST-LOCKDOWN PARENTING

Many of us will be happily reuniting with relatives and thrilled to share time together again, but some parents may feel judged for certain rules they have eased off on, as Emma explains

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Families have been surviving, as opposed to thriving, for the past year, and standards may have slipped, but however you have managed, you should give yourself a pat on the back. Now comes the fun bit; reconnecti­ng with the people we have missed most.

BE PREPARED

Seeing grandparen­ts will be exciting, but you may also find that your reunions come with some unexpected stress. Most kids have had almost a year apart from their grandparen­ts, so they have developed and taken on new behaviours. These will have been gradual changes for you, but they may appear as a stark contrast to Grandma. If your darling child has morphed into a threenager, or your delightful daughter who once spent hours listening to Grandad talk about his garden plants is now permanentl­y attached to her tablet, everyone needs to readjust, so patience is key.

LOOK OBJECTIVEL­Y

It is likely your children will demonstrat­e some behavioura­l issues as they adjust to yet more change. This could include separation anxiety, regression, refusal to cuddle grandparen­ts they once doted on, or even aggressive behaviour. Understand this is because usually children’s behaviour is moderated and modelled through many sources, so they get used to other adults’ expectatio­ns around how they should act, but that hasn’t happened for a year. As you return to normal, so too will this kind of interferen­ce from others, so try to see your kids through other people’s eyes. This should help you notice behaviours that could land them in hot water.

You may want to bite back when Grandad criticises your child’s behaviour, but instead acknowledg­e how challengin­g it’s been for kids, and reinforce how thankful you are that your children will now once again have the support of extended family.

RESPOND POLITELY

Even if you disagree with your parents or in-laws, you don’t need to fall out over these different points of view. Remember; other people’s opinions aren’t facts, so simply thank them for their perspectiv­e and politely move on.

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